The #1 Problem With Dating

by Dr. Aesha on April 14, 2014

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The #1 Problem With Dating

By: Aesha Adams-Roberts

"What's the number #1 reason why women are single," she asked me.

Without hesitation I said, "Women aren't dating enough OR they're dating the wrong types of people." 

Honey, if you could've seen the look on her face! She looked like she wanted to clutch her pearls because I'd said something so outrageous.  For the next few minutes she grilled me with that "nice-nasty" tone you get when someone disagrees with you, but she still wants to be polite. 

"Well, do you teach from a biblical perspective." It wasn't so much a question as it was an accusation. At least that's the way it felt to me. I guess to this sista, dating is not biblical. (I've dealt with this issue in a previous article and conference call. Check it out here if you missed it). But as one of my Buddhist male clients said to me once, "If Christians don't date, how will they ever make little Christians?"

My conversation with this sista rang in the back of my head when I saw a statsitic this week reported by one of my colleagues, Paul Brunson. He said the #1 problem with dating is that no one's doing it anymore!

Our mothers and grandmothers went to sock hops, cake walks, school dances, and mixers to meet men. They went on blind dates or the neighborhood matchmaker set them up. They actually went through a courting process in order to find love. 

However, the new rules of dating have shifted the game! Instead of dating, people are:

  • Texting, sexting or emailing
  • Hanging out
  • Hooking up
  • Going out a few times and just seeing what might happen
  • Waiting at home for the right person to come along
  • Hoping to run into someone at church, the coffee shop, mall, or on a jog

As a result, the average single in the US hasn't been on a date in 2 years! 

I'm on a mission as a matchmaker and dating coach to help you get back in the dating game and find your perfect match. And I want you to have FUN doing it!  

So tell me, when was your last date? And what's your greatest challenge when it comes to dating and finding the right person? Leave your answers below. I promise to read and comment on each one :) 


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Is Love Color Blind?

by Dr. Aesha on April 10, 2014

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Is Love Color Blind?

By: Aesha Adams-Roberts

I recently asked my Facebook community to share their thoughts on interracial dating. I was inspired by the responses:

Of course. Humans want to find a person to share and grow with. You'll miss out if concerned about packaging. ~Patrice

I don't care who you are or where you came from love sees no race, religion, economic status, nationality, etc ~Kerrie

I'm open to it. Loves happens when two hearts touch…no matter the color.~Desiree

My Mama always told me to judge a man by the content of his character, not the color of his skin. What matters most is how he treats you! ~Cindy

Love has no color to me.I told my children I don't care what color they are as long as they treat them right! ~Kresha

I love the fact that folks' attitudes toward interracial dating are so open & embracing. However, I am concerned about one belief. 

It sounds great to say love can transcend differences, but it's a myth that love can be color blind. If you want your relationship to last, you have to see your partner in all his or her differences. Be aware and prepared for:

  • People to stare and ask you why you're the only white woman on a double date with Indian friends. 
  • Your white boyfriend to wonder why the hair you wore last week is shorter than the hair you're wearing today. 
  • Your Persian wife's family to disown her because she married an African American man. 

Your love can survive these challenges and your relationship can help to make the world a better place. Just know that while race might not matter to you when you're choosing a life partner, it does matter in the world you'll live in every day. 

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with today's post? Share your thoughts below! 




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The Biggest Mistake Singles Make On A Date

April 7, 2014

The Biggest Mistake Singles Make On A Date By: Aesha Adams-Roberts A woman recently asked me what I thought was the biggest mistake modern singles make. My answer surprised her: Most singles don't know how to authentically connet to their date. This is true for women AND men.  For example, one woman told me the first question […]

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March 23, 2014

  ​ The Secret Sauce For An Amazing Love Life By: Aesha Adams-Roberts Have you ever had one of those crazy weeks, where one moment you were completely overwhelmed by everything going on in your life and the next you were totally amazed by the transformation? Let me say it another way: One moment you […]

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Date Like A Boss! How To Control Your Love Life

March 13, 2014

Date Like A Boss! How To Control Your Love Life By: Aesha Adams-Roberts There's a lot about love you can't control. You love him, but you're not sure he loves you back. He used to text you every night and then, suddenly, he stops. You thought things were going great and then he disappears without […]

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For Better or For Work: Is Your Career Killing Your Relationship?

March 10, 2014

  For Better or For Work: Is Your Career Killing Your Relationship?  By: Aesha Adams Roberts The other day, this headline on the Huffington Post grabbed my attention: "Getting My PhD Caused My Divorce."  The woman went on to describe how her marriage fell apart when she switched careers from a social worker to a […]

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The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make On A Date And How To Avoid Them

March 6, 2014

  The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make On A Date And How To Avoid Them By: Aesha Adams-Roberts Dating is a science and an art. It takes a lot to get two people to connect, create chemistry and build a relationship. You can increase your chances of making a good match on your next date […]

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Is Snoring Affecting Your Relationship?

March 3, 2014

Is Snoring Affecting Your Relationship? Try These Snoring Remedies Before You Sleep in Separate Beds By: Aesha Adams-Roberts Is snoring affecting your relationship? If so, you're not alone!  The Snoring Center of Chicago surveyed more than 200 people on their sleep issues. Nearly 70 percent said that there was at least one person in their household […]

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