Texting While Dating
By: Dr. Aesha
Texting while driving is illegal where I’m from. So why isn’t texting while dating?
I know we’ve all seen it. The couple at a restaurant or coffee shop, who instead of getting lost in one another’s gaze, are crouched over their smartphones, lost in a virtual world of memes, tweets and split second updates.
Maybe we’re all guilty of it. I know I’ve done it during date nights with my husband and during family outings.
So I’m not throwing shade, here, I just want to get to the bottom of why we do this. If someone were talking on the phone while we were on a date, we’d considered it rude. But swiping a smartphone is considered normal.
Perhaps texting while dating reflects a deeper problem of how we define connection these days. We like the idea of feeling connected to anyone, any place at any moment. I mean we take our phones everywhere (tell me you don’t take it to the bathroom when you have to go?)
We use emoticons and selfies to help us communicate our feelings online. And how many times have you used LOL even if you didn’t crack a smile?
Real connection requires intimacy and intimacy requires real conversation. You have to get to know someone in order to really know someone.
Maybe the problem is how we define and actually DO dating. With online dating apps like Tinder, you can make snap judgments about someone with a swipe of the finger. Emails and text messages can trap you in a virtual relationship that never moves beyond the screen.
So, what should we do about it?
What if you made date night a “no phone zone?” Put your phone away, unless of course you’re on a date with a crazy person, like the sista who told me a man some friends set her up with arrived at her house sloppy drunk! In that case, you’d need your phone to text a friend to pick you up.
Otherwise, let’s all agree to exchange our smartphones for real conversation, at least on date night.
What do you think? Share your thoughts below!
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