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bigstock Thoughtful black businesswoman 63759514 300x199 How Your Feelings Are Messing Up Your Relationships

How Your Feelings Are Messing Up Your Relationships

By: Dr. Aesha

You already know this, but I'm going to say it anyway: 

Your ability to manage your feelings is directly affecting your relationships. 

You see, you usually make 1 of 3 choices when someone hurts you, disappoints you or ticks you off: 

  • React
  • Reject
  • Repress 

You've gotten so good at these responses that they happen instantly and you don't even realize it! 

Don't believe me? Let's see if these ring true for you: 

  • You're around a man you finally attractive and who is exactly what you've dreamt of your whole life. You start thinking, "He probably won't even want to talk to me. Why would he be interested in me." You don't realize you have these thoughts, though. All you know is you feel awkward. So you overcompensate by pretending to be someone you're not. Isntead of being playful, fun, open, you get stuck in your head. You wonder if the last thing you said was stupid. You can't get a word out! 
  • You feel rejected when a man disappears after a date or stops calling you. You take it personally and then say things like, "All men lie! None of them are serious about relationships." You take down your online dating profile and decide to take a break from dating. 
  • Maybe you'r already in a relationship, and your partner says something that hurts your feelings. You haven't been taught to communicate openly and truthfully so you don't say, "Babe, that really hurt me. I'm angry with you! Please don't say that again." Instead, you cut your eyes, suck your teeth, and tell him off about something he did last week. Before you know it, you're arguing and you don't know why. 
  • Or, you say nothing for weeks. But because feelings buried alive never die, it comes up other ways. You're cold and reject his affection. Or you snap at your kids, friends or co-workers and they label you as hard to get along with. 
  • Perhaps you've gotten so good at the Strong Black Woman Syndrome that you've learned to just shut down. You feel nothing. No pain. No anger. Nothing. The problem with going numb is that you can't feel joy either! So you just exist. Or you turn to unhealthy things like overeating, meaningless sex, overspending, or overworking so that you can feel something. 

No matter your pattern, your feelings are messing up your ability to enjoy relaitonships. If any of these ring true for you, your feelings are getting in the way. Here are some tips to help you gain control

1. Don't take it personally

Your partner is going to say stupid stuff. People aren't going to call you back or ask you out again. Breakups happen. 

The key is to not make up stories about yourself, your worth, or your ability to love. Feel the pain and let it go! 

2. Watch what you tell yourself when you disappointed in love

What do you say when someone disappoints you? Be careful becasue these thoughts can become limiting beliefs that will block your blessings! 

3. Know yourself

Study yourself. Know what your buttons are. This way you can respond to things and choose what you're going to do and say. 

4. Get help

Work with a coach who can teach you tools on how to heal past hurts and communicate in new ways so you don't keep ruining your chances at relationships!

Did this help you? I want to hear your feedback! 

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10848558 703315383107519 8357115522969353905 o 300x300 FREE WEBINAR! No More Frustration: How To Stop Wasting Your Time With The Wrong Men and Start Attracting A High Quality Man Who Wants To Marry You...NOW!

FREE WEBINAR! No More Frustration: How To Stop Wasting Your Time With The Wrong Men and Start Attracting A High Quality Man Who Wants To Marry You…NOW! 

By: Dr. Aesha

What if you could see into your future and discover that your husband was just around the corner, if you'd only try again? 

Look sis, on the way to being found by the man you've always dreamed about, there are a lot of disappointments:

  • Disappointing dates
  • Disappearing men
  • Devastating breakups

It can make you feel like you're wasting your time! You get so frustrated that you tell yourself, "Maybe God doesn't want me to have anyone yet. I'm ok with that." 

But you and I know the truth: You have a longing deep inside of your heart to be seen by the right man, loved by him, and cherished forever. 

I want you to get honest with yourself and I want you to consider that all those setbacks and disappointments were not a waste of your time. Everything you tried that didn't work out, put something inside of you! 

Your past, no matter how disappointing and frustrating, is not your identity. It is your preparation for the husband in your future! 

I'm going to show you how to take your frustration and use it to fuel your future in my FREE online workshop: 

No More Frustration: How To Stop Wasting Your Time With The Wrong Men & Start Attracting A High Quality Man Who Wants To Marry You…Now! 

 

Monday May 18, 2015 at 9 PM EST/8 PM CST/ 7 PM MST/ 6 PM PST

 

 On this training, you'll learn: 

  • The one thing you should be doing that will automatically signal to the right man that you're nice & open to meeting him (If you're not doing this, Mr. Right will NEVER come over and introduce himself to you, no matter how cute you are!!!)
  • The truth about why you're still single (If you don't get to the bottom of this, you may actually be alone forever). 
  • The #1 mistake all women make when you meet, attract or are involved with a man you like. 
  • And the real reason why men won't commit to you 

And much, much more!!!

 

The most valuable asset you will ever have is TIME. And it goes by faster every year. If you're NO CLOSER to having the relationship you really want, and you want to stop wasting your valuable time, click here to register for this free, no-cost training now

Love, 

Dr. Aesha

Web 405 AeshaRoberts PhotographerKawaiMatthews FREE WEBINAR! No More Frustration: How To Stop Wasting Your Time With The Wrong Men and Start Attracting A High Quality Man Who Wants To Marry You...NOW!

P.S. A better life, filled with the love you've always imagined doesn't have to take forever. You just need the right information! I'm going to give it to you on this training. Register now! 

P.P.S. If you've already registered, and didn't get the details for the webinar, please check your SPAM folders. You have one more step to take to finish your registration! 

 

 

 

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The 7-Step Love Detox Challenge that will Transform Your Dating Life By: Dr. Aesha With Spring just around the corner it’s a good time to detox your love life. Why? Because your thoughts are getting in the way of you attracting and keeping love. Your thoughts shape your feelings which in turn, control your behaviors […]

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