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Why Men Don’t See You As Girlfriend Material

by Dr. Aesha on February 20, 2015

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Why Men Don't See You As Girlfriend Material 

By: Dr. Aesha
 
This may sound harsh, but when a quality man–a GOOD man–disappears on you, it's for a reason. Sometimes it's because it's just not a match. 
 
But if you're like some of my clients who wonder why he stopped calling after a great date (or if he didn't even call you in the first place), or why he could spend months or even years with you without ever committing, there's usually some signal you're sending that's shutting things down. 
 
Take, for example, my friend Ruby. She's a close friend and client who recently had a big breakthrough. An "Aha-moment" as Oprah would call it icon smile Why Men Dont See You As Girlfriend Material 
 
Ruby is over 40, never married, no kids, and losing hope that it will ever happen. 
 
Her last relationship ended because he still wasn't ready for a commitment. The problem was she'd given her all to this guy. Cooking for him (she NEVER did that with any other boyfriend) and rearranging her schedule to be with him. She was acting like a wife before there was even a sign that he was her real boyfriend! 
 
She came to me for help getting back on the dating scene and to figure out how to get men to commit to her. 
 
After a few minutes of coaching, I discovered some core beliefs Ruby had that were getting in her way:
  • She was taught by her traditional parents to never chase a man
  • She felt like starting a conversation, flirting, and wearing dresses & heels made her desperate for attention from men, so she just didn't feel comfortable doing it. 
  • She spent most of her time at home, work and church and couldn't figure out why men didn't approach her when they saw her. 
  • She expected a man to show her how interested he was in her by doing ALL the calling, texting and planning. If he didn't call for a few days, she pretended she didn't care and stopped showing interest. 
  • She felt "awkward" on first dates and didn't know how to keep the conversation going. The conversation always stayed on the surface with things like work, hobbies and interests. 
  • When she met men online, they just wanted to "meet up" and would either ask to hook up with her on the first text or eventually ask for money. 
Can you figure out what Ruby's problem was? 
 
Ruby's core belief that "good girls don't chase men" was preventing her from being fun, flirty, passionate, open and vulnerable with the right men who would see her as girlfriend material. 
 
To those men she was coming off as insecure, intimidating and nonchalant. In other words, she didn't seem interested, so they weren't interested! 
 
Instead, she was attracting and choosing men who fit her expectations of how men should behave. They wrote her online first, called her, even spent time with her, but they were emotionally unavailable! 
 
Ruby's thoughts, feelings and core beliefs based on her life experiences were blocking her from love! 
 
Her plan of action was to begin retraining her brain and get out of her own way so she could become a Man Magnet!
 
If you're like Ruby and you're ready to stop attracting the wrong men and start attracting men who are ready for relationships and see you as the one for them …
 
If you want to make this year, your year to find Mr. Right
 
If you're ready to make a change…
 
Please come to the encore presentation of my FREE teleclass
 
 
at a NEW time:
Monday, February 23rd at 6:00 PM PT/7:00 PM MT / 8:00PM CT / 9:00 PM ET 
 
I'm going to be sharing some brand NEW content, so if you joined me the first time, you'll want to check it out again. 
 
Space is limited. 
 
I understand you have questions and that's exactly why I'm hosting this FREE call. If you haven't registered, please register by clicking here: 
 
Dr. Aesha

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P.S. Stop wondering why men don't see you as girlfriend material andregister now for my FREE call: "The 3-Step Approach To Attract The Right Man in 2015"
 
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Short Men Make Better Husbands

by Dr. Aesha on February 9, 2015

 
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Short Men Make Better Husbands

By: Dr. Aesha

Are you hating on short men? 

I hear it from sisters all the time. I want a man who is 6'0" or taller, they say. I want to feel safe and protected. I like wearing heels…

But you don't wear heels to bed, do you? #HollaIfYouHearMe

Short men make the best husbands. I know cuz I married one. 

I feel you giving me the side-eye, so let me break it down for you. 

1) The average man is around 5' 8". When you refuse to even talk to a man who less than 6 feet tall, you shrink your dating pool to the size of a pea! Size does matter when it comes to your options in dating. The more selective you are, the fewer people you have to date and the longer it may take you to find a partner. 

2) Even the Bible shows how people messed up by picking the tall guy. When the people begged God for a king, they wanted Saul because he was handsome and head and shoulders above everyone else. Saul proved to be a bad leader and God wanted to replace him. When the prophet Samuel questioned God's new choice, God said, "Don't look at his appearance or how tall he is, because I have rejected him. God does not see as humans see. Humans look at outward appearances, but the Lord looks into the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

If God can look past a man's height and choose someone because of his heart, why can't you? 

Remember, the people who find love are open. They don't judge a book by its cover. They're kind and willing to meet new people. 

3)  A study done by New York University discovered that taller men get married quicker, but shorter men stay married longer. The researchers also discovered that tall men also tend to marry women who are younger than they are! They concluded that women associate a tall man with masculinity, status and attractiveness, but physical attraction only matters in the initial stages of relationship building. It doesn't amount to hill of beans when it comes to whether your love will last. 

Still rolling your eyes? You're right. A man's height has little to do with whether or not he'll stay married. And that's just my point! His height doesn't matter in the long run. 

I'm not asking you to marry Kevin Hart. I'm not even asking you to start a relationship with a man just because he's short. I'm asking you to stop JUDGING men on their height and start focusing on what really matters. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

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Would You Marry Yourself If You Didn’t Find A Husband By 40? This Sista Did!

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I've heard of friends promising to marry each other if they couldn't find a suitable partner, and I've seen a reality TV show of strangers marrying each other at first sight. But would you marry yourself if you couldn't find a husband by 40? This sista did and her story has gone viral! There's a […]

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3 Creative Ways To Meet Men You’ve Probably Never Thought About

January 19, 2015

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When Should I Start Dating Again After A Breakup?

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Should Bad Credit Be A Deal Breaker?

January 8, 2015

Should Bad Credit Be A Deal Breaker?  By: Dr. Aesha "Hey girl….can I get your digits? No, I don't mean your phone number. I mean your credit score!"  Can you imagine if a man approached you like this? What would you feel? Yet, there's a new trend called "Credit Score Dating" that's gaining traction. Suze Orman […]

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3 Ways The Strong Black Woman Syndrome Can Kill Your Relationship

January 5, 2015

3 Ways The Strong Black Woman Syndrome Can Kill Your Relationship By: Dr. Aesha Can we talk? Sister to sister? No, I'm not about to tell you that the reason why you're still single (or unhappy in your relationship) is because you're too independent and no man wants you. (That kind of advice is played out […]

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Before You Give Up On Love, Read This

December 29, 2014

Before You Give Up On Love, Read This By: Dr. Aesha Over the past year, I’ve coached people all over the world who are ready to give up on love. They tell me things like:  I got this crazy message in my inbox…I’m cancelling my subscription to online dating forever! If this relationship doesn’t work out […]

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5 Signs Your Standards Are Too High In Dating

December 15, 2014

5 Signs Your Standards Are Too High In Dating By: Dr. Aesha You've probably heard people tell you to raise your standards if you want to attract the right man into your life. I'm here to tell you that if you're still single when you don't want to be, the problem may be that your […]

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