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We’re continuing with our recap of my inaugural Be Found Luxury Retreat. (click here to read part 1). I want to share insiders secrets on how the ladies learned to capture a man’s attention with an authentic flirting style and by SLAYING a dating wardrobe and then they put what they learned into practice during our Secrets From The Barbershop Man Panel.

Can you relate? So many of the women I work with feel confident in their careers but feel invisible or awkward around the kinds of men they like. So we solved that problem on day 2 of the retreat with two POWER PACKED workshops from my superfriends, Kim Seltzer and Scheli Jones.




Kim is a confidence and flirting expert who works with women to hep them create their own signature flirting style without feeling desperate or thirsty. The ladies LOVED her tips and she used one of the guys in the room to demonstrate the power of eye contact and a smile. Scheli is a certified image consultant and life coach who helps you transform your relationship to your body and slay any outfit you put on so that you walk into a room like you own it. She walked the ladies through a head-to-toe makeover using her Image Bible. She taught us how to choose the right designers for our body types and which colors, hairstyles and make up work best for you.

After a fabulous lunch with my VIP ladies, we returned for our Man’s Panel, what I called Secrets From The Barbershop. We had 6 brothers give all their man secrets about what men think about sex, commitment, flirting, marriage, first dates and more. These men were investment bankers, entrepreneurs, VPs, and more and ranged from the ages of 20s to 50s!

Man Panel


The sisters were so captivating to the men, that they offered to take them out on the town to LA LIVE and enjoy the events that were happening for the BET Awards. (I even heard an LA sister or two got asked out on a real date, but you ain’t heard it from me lol)

The women learned how to get a man’s attention, but not just because he wants to sleep with her. They learned how to bypass his body and win his heart wth these 3 keys:

  1. Flirting is about being playful and in the present moment

You can’t be attached to the outcome when you start a conversation with a man, even if you’re interested in him, otherwise you’ll come across as too serious, awkward or self-conscious. And you don’t want to shut down someone and not even say hello, because you’ve prejudged him as someone who isn’t serious about relationships. You want to only focus on having a conversation right now, in the present moment. When you do, men are drawn to your confident energy.

2. What you wear matters

The man’s panel confirmed what Scheli and Kim taught the ladies: they pay attention to what you’re wearing! It’s not because you have to be dressed to the nines each time you leave the house; it’s because what you wear influences how you feel about yourself and you communicate that vibe to other people. So step up your game and craft a wardrobe that is specifically for dating!

3. Being intentional in dating means learning how to read men correctly

Many sisters make the mistake of trying to figure out if a man is marriage material based on what he does for a living. As the sisters discovered through the man panel, there’s much more to discover about a man than whether he’s successful in his career. They learned how to ask the right questions and listen to a man’s response without judgement. Staying curious (versus being ready to cut a man off based on his initial answers), created an environment where the men could be vulnerable with the women. The ladies learned that gathering the right kind of data could help them make better choices in dating.