4 Reasons Why He Didn't Call You Back
By: Aesha Adams-Roberts
You had a “great” first date: He seemed to really like you and he promised to call you back. Then . . . days pass with you staring at your phone, waiting for the follow-up call that never comes. Worse yet, you spend even more time trying to figure out what you did wrong to scare him away. "Maybe he's not ready for a relationship? Was he really attracted to me? He's just intimidated by my success. . ."
Why didn't he call you back? Rachel Greenwald has an answer for you in her bestselling book, Have Him At Hello: Confessions From 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall In Love . . . Or Never Call Back. As a matchmaker and dating coach, Greenwald wanted to figure out why some of her clients had great first dates that fizzled out while others turned into amazing relationships.
She decided to ask the guys in what she called "Exit Interviews." With permission from her clients, Greenwald called the dates and asked them straight up: Why didn't you call her back?
The resulting feedback was surprising: 90% of the time, the women were wrong about why a guy disappeared!
With results from 1000 interviews, Greenwald was able to pinpoint 10 major dating patterns and mistakes women were making on first dates and in the early stages of a relationship.
One reason people struggle to find the right mate is they don't have feedback. You're dating in the dark, doomed to repeat the same mistakes, if you don't know what your date really experiences when they're out on the town with you.
Using the feedback from Greenwald's interviews, you can flip the switch and make sure you're showing up as your BEST self on your dates!
Here are Rachel Greenwald's top 4 reasons why he didn't call you back:
1. The Boss Lady: You're too argumentative, controlling, or competitive during the first date. The interviewees said they enjoyed stimulating conversation, but they didn't want to feel like they were at a business lunch or political debate. One man put it this way: "I'm looking for a wife, not a business associate."
You call it being forthright or direct, but the guys felt that it was aggressive and "unfeminine." Some of the guys also said that when a woman offered to pay for the date or a showed up in to a date wearing her work clothes, they felt she wasn't feminine enough and didn't want a second date.
(NOTE: I honestly had a little problem–OK, a BIG one–with this definition of femininity, but I'll save that for another article.)
1. The Flasher: You think you're being open and vulnerable by sharing your deepest, darkest secrets on your first date. He thinks you have issues! Give him more time to get to know you before revealing all your quirks.
2. The Ex-Factor: Don't talk about your EX on a first date. No matter how you try to bring him up, you'll risk coming across as bitter or still attached. And scrub your social media profiles of any mentions of your ex, even if you're still friends.
One guy said after his date friended him on Facebook, he noticed she had a photo album entitled "The Best Year of My Life." You guessed it: The album was filled with pictures of her and her ex! Her new man concluded she wasn't over her last relationship and decided to break things off with her.
3. The Busy Bee: He may think you're a Busy Bee if you keep canceling dates or your smartphone keeps vibrating during a date. Many of the guys felt that they wouldn't be a priority in their date's life and figured it wasn't be worth investing their time into a relationship.
4. The Closer: Instead of casually getting to know your date, you "interview him" with probing questions. A guy can tell that you're digging for information when you ask questions about his family & dating history, how much he makes per year or whether he thinks he 'll ever get married and have kids.
Many women who don't want to waste time on the wrong person make this mistake. Slow down and just make a connection on the first date!
Some of the interviewees said they didn't know how to interpret a woman's actions on a date. She thought she was being flirtatious; he felt like she was needy. She thought buying him his favorite coffee and dropping it off at work was cute; he thought she was acting like they were already married!
Because they weren't sure of what they wanted in a relationship yet and didn't want to lead a woman on, the guys just pulled away. Some guys don't have the communication skills and/or the guts to tell you the truth so they just disappear!
None of these reasons have anything to do with your worth as a person, but being aware of these dating disconnects can help you have more control of your love life.
That's why I put together a FREE eBook, just for you! Smart, Successful And Still Single: The Top 3 Mistakes Smart Women Make That Ruin Their Chance At Love. Download it NOW by filling out the form below. It's my gift to you!