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What Happy Couples Have In Common

By: Aesha Adams-Roberts


The average married couple spends just 4 minutes per day together due to jobs, kids, TV, the Internet and more. (Source: Facts.Randomhistory.com)

Can you relate to this shocking statistic?  Most married couples I talk to can. Almost daily, somone is telling me how challenging it is to connect with their spouse, how long it's been since their last date night, or how frustrated they are because it seems they're growing apart. 

As I've shared in a recent article, my husband and I have been there done that! Now we are AWARE of when it's happening and we have specific strategies to deal with it.  We've come to an agreement: If we're too busy to invest into our marriage, then we're too busy!  

Dr. John Gottman, director of the "Love Lab" at Seattle University and founder of the Gottman Institute, can spot an unhappy couple quicker than Simon Cowell can find the next biggest pop star. It only takes him 5 minutes to tell whether a couple is headed toward divorce and he's got a 94% accuracy rate to prove it!  There's a happy flip side to Dr. Gottman's prophetic gift. He has also identified what happy couples have in common. One of his most intriguing concepts is what he calls the "Magic 5 Hours": Couples in happy relationships invest 5 extra hours per week into their marriage. 

I know what you're thinking: 5 extra hours per week?!  If the average couple spends 4 minutes per day together that's only a total of 28 minutes per week.  Where am I going to get an extra 5 hours per week?!

Besides cutting back on TV and the Internet, there are simple ways to do it that won't cost you any extra energy. In fact if we do the math, 5 hours per week is really just 5 minutes per hour, 12 hours per day, 5 days per week. Imagine, having a fulfilling, fun, life-giving relationship, and it all starts with just 5 minutes!  You just need to be intentional and use a little imagination.  

Because I'm passionate about YOUR happiness, I'm hard at work on an exciting eBook that will give you fun, fresh ideas on how to use those 5 minutes to deepen your connection with your spouse. The ideas won't take extra money or energy but they'll make you feel like you're dating again. I'm drawing from my own experiences as well as stories from happily married couples of all ages.  I'd love to feature YOUR ideas in the eBook.

Please, leave a comment below with your BEST story of how you and your spouse have created a fun, fulfilling relationship. I can't wait to read them!