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Before You Give Up On Love, Read This

By: Dr. Aesha

Over the past year, I’ve coached people all over the world who are ready to give up on love. They tell me things like: 

I got this crazy message in my inbox…I’m cancelling my subscription to online dating forever!

If this relationship doesn’t work out then I’m giving up. I guess I’ll just be single for the rest of my life.

I’m scared to trust again. I don’t know what a man will do to me.

I’m not dating anymore. God will just have to bring my mate to me.  

If you’re on the verge of giving up on love, let me encourage you. 

I understand you may be feeling some kind of way about the opposite sex, online dating, relationships, marriage, and even yourself, but giving up isn’t the answer.

You have more control over how you feel about love than you think. You just have to break the negative attitude you’ve developed about your situation. 

Your attitude is created by the way you interpret what happens to you. I know you’ve been through hell and back in your relationships and you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. You don’t want to try anymore and you can point to so many reasons why you have the right to feel the way you do. 

But here’s the thing. 

We all deal with crazy ups and downs in love. Everybody does, no matter their relationship status. You can’t control what happens to you, but you CAN control how you define what happens to you.  

So I challenge you to make a decision, right now, that you will not let your negative emotions control you. 

How do you do that? There’s a process I take my coaching and matchmaking clients through to help them become aware of their negative thinking patterns, but I want to give you a few tips to help you get started in the right direction. 

You can change how you think and feel about relationships by using these 3 simple affirmations:

1.    I believe in love and I know it’s possible for me to experience it. 

Giving up on love is like giving up on God! God is love and He made you to love and be loved. When you give in to your negativity and hopelessness, you deny your purpose for living. 

2.    I’m happy now and I’ll be even happier with the right person in my life. 

Happiness doesn’t depend on your circumstances. It’s a choice you make day by day, moment by moment to focus on all that’s going well in your life. 

The second part of this affirmation gets rid of that “either/or” mentality that if you’re happy being alone, you don’t NEED a relationship in your life. In fact, your contentment can help you attract a healthy relationship in to your life right now. 

3.    No matter what happens to me, with God’s help, I will be ok. 

This affirmation helps you deal with the uncertainties of love and relationships. So many people I coach get stuck when they face the fear of an unknown future.

What if he leaves me? 
What if this relationship doesn’t work out?
What if there isn’t really anyone out there who will want to love me? 
What if I open up my heart and get hurt again?
What if I break up with him and it’s the wrong decision? 
What if I have to start over?

The fear of “what if” can be so strong that you’ll fight to make a bad relationship work, sabotage a good one or block love from coming into your life in the first place.

This affirmation will shift your focus from trying to control the future to trusting in the One who holds your future!  

Giving up on love guarantees failure. So does a negative attitude. But you can believe in love again by using these affirmations. Your attitude is everything! 

I’m curious: Have you ever felt like giving up on love? Tell me your story below!