It was the riskiest thing I’d ever done. I just packed my things, loaded my car and started driving. I’d never driven alone on the highway before, but I was desperate to get away from a very toxic relationship.
The physical distance helped, but I still had some emotional baggage. I kept talking to him on the phone and even planned to spend Christmas with his family.
A few days before Christmas, I called him at our usual time. His roommate told me he wasn’t there. “He asked to borrow my car,” she said. “I don’t know, Aesha. I don’t know,” she said. I could tell something wasn’t right.
When I brought it up to him the next day, he “confessed” that he was on a date with another woman! I was angry, heartbroken and somewhat relieved that I finally had the courage to break it off for good.
My new roommate didn’t want me to be alone for the holidays and invited me to spend Christmas with her family. Being surrounded by new friends and family helped to soothe the ache I felt in my heart.
At that moment, I had a mindset shift and decided to enjoy the holidays no matter what.
The following year, I moved back to my hometown in the Midwest. This time Christmas would be different. In October I’d met an amazing man and we were spending quite a bit of time together. I’d invited him to Thanksgiving and he accepted. After Thanksgiving dinner we had our first official date, but we still hadn’t started a relationship. In fact, he’d kept telling me he wasn’t looking for a relationship!
But then it happened–that magical moment when you know you’re falling in love. During my office Christmas party, we looked in one another’s eyes, and I promise you there were fireworks! As we left the party we held hands for the first time. And even though there wasn’t any mistletoe hanging in my apartment, we shared a first kiss.
I fell in love with the man of my dreams during the Christmas season. Some Christmases since then have been challenging. One year we were stranded in Portland for three days with a 5-month old and no luggage or baby food due to a horrible snowstorm; the next Christmas we were separated while he was deployed overseas. No matter what, I’ve learned to enjoy the holiday season and to focus on creating wonderful memories with my loved ones.
I share this story with you because I know the holidays can be a lonely, stressful time when you still haven’t found Mr. Right. But believe me when I say that when (not if) you do meet him and begin a life together, all of the new Christmas memories you’ll make together will make up for anything you may be feeling now.
Don’t give up! Your Christmas miracle is coming!