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We hate spam as much as you do!

Dr. Aesha,

I’m just different. I’m in love with a man who is getting married in a few months.

We spend so much time together that it feels so easy. I don’t believe a man will be attracted to me that I am attracted to as well. It’s always a guy I’m not interested in and would never consider dating.

I feel exactly like Molly from Insecure. All of my lighter skin friends are married and have been for years. I’ve been alone and have had multiple heartbreaks. I’m just at a point in my life where I’ve just about given up. I have a hard past but I’ve overcome it.

I’m educated and I take care of myself. Why can’t a man meet me that looks at me as wife material and not a “smash and pass” because of my dark skin? I’m so tired of celebrities and social media putting so much emphasis on light skin or mixed women, adding more hurt and self esteem issues to the women like me who are struggling to find love, good jobs, & positive attention outside of being a beautiful dark skin woman.

So I’m 31 now and I said screw it. He might be getting married, but he loves me and he is making mw happy. No other guy is doing that and they definitely haven’t stuck around as long as he have. It’s been 7 months. I feel like I can’t leave him but I can’t deal with another heartbreak. I just wish he would call the wedding off and marry me instead. But I know that won’t happen, so who is going to love me?



PRESS PLAY to hear my advice to this sister who is stuck in a situationship:

Look sis, sometimes we get in our way because your married to a story about why you’re still single. If you’re convincing yourself that no one loves you–and then you look for evidence o prove it–you’ll put yourself in situations where you’ll accept the love you think you deserve.

It’s time to understand that you are the first and best example of how to love you. Comparing yourself to others will only kill your chances of finding love with someone who will love you through thick and thin.

Now that you’ve watched this episode, post a comment below with your BEST advice for our sister-friend who is stuck in this situation. 

And if you know someone who is dating beneath her level and settling for less than she deserves, forward her this episode.