One of the most common questions people ask me is how long they should wait to start dating again after a break up. I have to warn you: you might not like my answer!
It depends. I don’t know important information about your situation, like:
- Were you in a marriage, long-term relationship or a new relationship that was just getting off the ground?
- How long were you together?
- Why did you breakup?
- How long ago did you break up?
Your answers to these questions determine your availability. I’m not just talking about whether you have time to date. I’m talking about if you have room in your heart and soul for a new relationship. You should start dating again after a breakup ONLY when you are emotionally available for someone new.
In other words, you can date again when you’re over it.
How do you know if you’re over it?
- You wouldn’t want to get back together with your ex, even if he bought a ring, hired Eric Benet to serenade you, and he surprised you with a proposal in front of all your friends and family
- You can talk about your ex to another man without telling all the details of what he did to you
- You don’t cry (or cuss) when you think of your ex
- You’re clear about the role you did or did not play in the relationship issues and/or breakup
- You can see the positive lessons from the relationship and you’re willing to grow from them
Now this isn’t a complete list of signs you’re over your ex. There are a ton of other factors that can affect how relationship-ready you are and whether you should get back on the dating scene. Answer these questions: