Attraction Factor: How To Walk Into A Room Like You Own It
By: Dr. Aesha
He walked into the room like he owned it! I had to keep my jaw from dropping the first time I ever met my husband. It wasn't just the fact that he was in a navy uniform (and he filled it out quite nicely, I might add). There was just something about him that was magnetic. I was drawn to him, but I played it off really well.
Once we were dating, he said the same thing about me. There was just something he couldn't explain that made him want to get to know me, despite the fact that he wasn't looking for a relationship.
Now that I'm a matchmaker and dating coach I call that "something you can't explain" your attraction factor. You might call it swag, "it-factor," charisma, posture or a magnetic personality. No matter what label you give it, you need to know how to tap into it so that you attract the right people to you every where you go. Here are 3 tips:
I like the way my colleague, Evan Marc Katz describes confidence. "Confidence is walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else." Some gurus teach you to fake it until you make it, but confidence is rooted in being authentic and happy with who you are. It's knowing that the people in the room have never met anyone like you! You can't fake that.
Once you're in a new relationship, don't lose your confidence! If you get anxious about where the relationship is headed, you'll accidentally push your significant other away.
Presence is the ability to communicate your power without saying a word. For example, the late Maya Angelou spoke about the first time she met Malcolm X:
"His aura was too bright. His masculine force affected me physically. A hot desert storm eddied around him and rushed to me, making my skin contract, and my pores slam shut."
Your presence can be a magnetic force! Cultivate it by being fully present. If you're meeting someone for the first time or you're on a date, give that person your undivided attention. That's a rare gift these days and will draw that person to you.
You only have so much energy so watch where it goes. You feed what you're focused on! Negativity, worry and fear will drain your energy. Trying to impress people will project your energy outward and make them feel like you're doing too much. And trying to cover up your flaws will make you seem invisible.
Focus on feeling confident and powerful and you can walk into a room like you own it!