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I Used To Communicate Like a Dump Truck

By: Aesha Adams Roberts

Both of my kids love to play with dump trucks. When I bought them, I thought they'd use them to scoop up sand, dried beans and other stuff we have around the house. They did. But they found other uses for them, too. They crash 'em and bang 'em and try to figure out ways to make the most noise with them. Many of their trucks end up with broken wheels & smashed parts. 

I used to communicate like a dump truck. I'd stuff all my feelings and thoughts inside until we had a big conflict. Then I'd dump it all out, even if it had nothing to do with the current conversation. Because I was so afraid to share my true feelings, I could go weeks, months and years before I let it out.  When I did, it wasn't pretty! 

Other people communiate more agressively, kind of like how my kids bang their trucks around. They use words, body langauge, withholding affection, giving the silent treatement and more to get their way. 

Either way, when we communicate like a dump truck we end up with a big mess. Before your next fight, remember this: healthy conflict is better than quiet contempt.

What about you? What have you learned about the way you communicate in relationships?