Daddies Need Love Too: What Nick Cannon's Recent Health Crisis Can Teach Us About Loving Our Husbands
By: Aesha Adams-Roberts
Did you hear the news about Nick Cannon? He recently stepped down from his radio show on doctor's orders following his recent hospitalization due to "mild kidney failure." Two weeks later, he discovered blood clots in his lungs, an enlarged heart, and was recently diagnosed with what he calls a "lupus-like" auto-immune disease. The 31-year-old comic, TV & radio host, and movie star is also the husband of Mariah Carey and father to their 10-month old twins. I was relieved to see he had the courage to step away from his radio show. He seemed to get the message that his health was more important than a radio show because he needed to be around for his wife and kids. He even tweeted,"Even superman needs to sleep." And I was blessed to see that Mariah was by her husband's side in the hospital, silencing all the gossipers who have accused her of marrying Nick as a publicity stunt!
Nick Cannon's health scare impacted me so much because he reminded me of my husband. Although my husband hasn't had any health challenges, he, like Nick Cannon, is very driven and has been blessed with what seems like superhuman abilities to get done in one day what takes the average person a month to accomplish. When I was sick during my pregnancy, I was unable to do daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our 3-year-old daughter. I watched in awe as my man picked up the slack with what seemed like boundless energy. As a naval officer he had to get up at 4 am, endure a 90-minute commute to work, handle the pressures of his job, drive back home and then go grocery shopping, cook the food, wash the dishes, fold the clothes, bathe our daughter, and tend to me. I fell in love with him all over again because of his strength and compassion.
But once this season of sickness was over, I became concerned that he was doing too much. Like Nick Cannon, my husband told me he was Superman. But I reminded him that even Superman could be brought to his knees with Kryptonite!
What does any of this have to do with uncovering the secrets to happy relationships?
Simply put, we need to remember that daddies need love too. We live in a society that portrays men as either absent from their family or clueless on what to do if they are around. On a recent episode of America's Super Nanny, a husband confessed that even though he felt guilty that his wife was burnt out trying to manage their unruly boys, he would rather spend hours hiding in the garage, working on his hobbies because he just didn't know where he fit in his family. This feeling of being out of place doesn't just start when a man gets married and starts a family. When I was college professor, I had male graudte students confess their feelings of inadequacy to me. They didn't want to offend women or come across as sexist or insensivitive and so became silent and withdrawn. I had male undergraduate students tell me they didn't know where to go to discover what it meant to be a man. Because many men don't know where they "fit" in society, they spend their time striving and performing in order to feel worthy. They overwork themselves, trying to create an identity worthy of "superman" until they eventually crash.
I've written a lot about why women put themselves last and what they can do to take care of themselves without feeling guilty or selfish. But it's not just women who need to learn how to rest and love themselves. The men in our lives need to hear this message too!
Imagine what could happen if mommies and daddies were well rested and taking care of each other: could you spend more time together making love instead of fighting? could you give time and attention to your children? Could you let go of resentment and anger and fear and love and accept each other?
Sisters, let's encourage the men in our lives to take care of themselves. Sit him down, look into his eyes and let him know how much you need him, not just for what he does for the family but for who he is. Tell him life is a marathon, not a sprint, and you want him to be happy and healthy to enjoy it with you!
Will you join me in spreading this message? Please leave a comment and click "like" to share this article on your Facebook Timeline! Let's show the world what it really takes to have happy, healthy, blissful relationships!