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We hate spam as much as you do!

Dr. Aesha,

The man I’m dating is 12 years older than me. I must admit, I had my reservations about him at first, but he is the best man I’ve ever known. We get along well, and enjoy each other’s company. All the men my age have never been this consistent, kind, or fun! Anyway, I decided to finally tell a few close friends about him, and they all had something negative to say.  They all think that he’s too old for me, and that we won’t have many years together because he could have serious heath issues over the next 10 years (even though he’s healthy right now). Deep down I wonder about that too, but I’m really happy with him and don’t want anyone else.

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Girl, tell your friends, “Bye Felicia!” They love you and want the best for you, but your friends are not relationship experts or date coaches, so their advice isn’t going to be based on research about what makes relationships work, nor will it align with what YOU want for your life.

Your girls are telling you what they want for themselves, and that’s ok. Most people give advice based on their own perspectives and experiences. But they forget that they don’t have to live with the decisions you’ll make. Will they be there on your lonely midnight hours after you break up with this guy just because he’s “too old?” Do they have another man handpicked for you who they can guarantee you will like (and who will like you in return?) What will they say if you follow their advice and end up alone for the next 1o years because you don’t meet anyone else who is as kind and consistent as the man you’re dating right now? 

Do you. It’s your life…your heart…your happiness that matters, not theirs.

Love,

Dr. Aesha