How to Have The Talk With Your Boyfriend:
Get Him To BEG You To Commit To Him In 3 Simple Steps
By: Aesha Adams Roberts
"I'm not sure I want to ever get married," he said. It was like cold water thrown in my face. I stared at the ceiling. It was "the morning after" and I was already feeling embarrassed. Just 2 days ago he'd broken up with me, not to mention and I had vowed not to sleep with anyone until my wedding night. Now here I was, facing the harsh reality that I'd just been played. "I still believe in love. I believe in us," he said. I could tell this was his MO, because the words sounded rehearsed. 1 week later, he was accusing me of pushing him into marriage and broke up with me.
How did I get here? He'd told me he loved me after our 2nd date. When I asked him where he saw this going, he said he was looking for a wife. He brought up the marriage issue, not me. I had some reservations, sure, but I believed him.
Fast forward 2 years later, when I'd met the man of my dreams. He told me over and over that he wasn't looking for a relationship. In fact, he had several ex-girlfriends he was still talking to, some of whom were hoping to marry him! How did I get him to put a ring on it without long talks, ultimatums, or manipulative games? Through these 3 easy steps:
1–Bypass His Body & Get Into His Heart
There are many men who will gladly sleep with a woman without any emotion. Even if he does have an emotional connection with you, he won't take it to the next level if he's getting everything he wants and needs. In my case, I was cooking, making lunches, loaning my car and giving my ex my credit card! I was acting like his wife without him having to commit to me as a boyfriend!
It sounds old-fashioned, but although I was very attracted to my dream man, I didn't invite him to set foot into my place until we were serious. We met at my parents house or drove in separate cars to the restaurant. I wanted to make sure I didn't make the same mistake.
If you want to keep your man, you need to bypass his body and get into his heart. In his heart is an unconscious list of qualities he's looking for in a woman. Women write this stuff down; guys just carry it around in the back of their minds. You need to learn how to reveal what's in his heart and you'll find out how to seal the deal.
Remember I told you my husband kept telling me he wasn't looking for a relationship? When I asked him what made him make a clean break with his exes and choose me, he said I matched the qualities he'd imagined in a wife: no drama, intelligent, independent yet knew how to make him feel like I wanted him and more. There was also another element that made him seal the deal with me.
2–Let Him Chase You
I like to joke with my husband that I let him pursue me! But in all honesty, I gave him all the signs I was interested in him, but I also let him know (without saying a word) that he wasn't my only option. How did I do that? I'd smile, ask him out, talk on the phone and more, but I also talked openly about me pursuing job opportunities in another state. I had a social life and didn't sit around by the phone waiting for him to call. I also didn't clear my whole schedule just because he called to ask me out. I was available & approachable, but not accessible.
Now I didn't play any of those silly games many dating gurus tell you will help you get the guy, games like flirt with him one night and then act like he's just a friend the next. That's MANIPULATION and guys HATE it. If you start a committed relationship like that, you'll have to continue doing it to keep the relationship and that's just too darn exhausting! I"m talking about having a strong self esteem where you know you are the dream! You believe with your whole being that you're a great catch and if your boyfriend doesn't see it, it's his loss. You don't have to play mind games, but you do need to know what he's thinking.
3–Get Into His Mind
Guys don't think about commitment like you do! For example, If he's saying things like, "let's just see where this goes," or "I'm not looking for anything serious" or "I'm afraid of commitment" or "I want to focus on my kids or my career" or any other excuse, it doesn't mean you can eventually change his mind. It's actually code for "When things get uncomfortable, I'm gonna run." There's one exception–if he's been hurt before, some guys will take it slow. In that case, he should be open with you & you should be honest with him. Don't say you're not looking for a serious relationship when you really are, otherwise he will believe that you're ok with the way things are.
If you want him to BEG you to commit to a real relationship, it has to be HIS decision. And no amount of begging, fighting, seducing or talking is going to lead him to that decision. You have to know how to crack the code and get into his head.
I want you to make things easier for you, so I have a gift! I interviewed three men and they revealed all their man secrets to me! Things like
- What makes a guy commit to a woman,
- Things women accidentally do that push men away
- How to tell if he's lying to you about your relationship (and what to do about it)
- What men are looking for in a serious relationship and when they decide to take it to another level
I put it all in an eBook and MP3 so you can know exactly how to get your man to open up to you. You'll feel you had a man to woman talk with a good friend. You can get it here: http://aeshaonline.com/for-women-only/what-men-think-about-love-and-marriage