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There’s a growing trend among many single women who have grown weary while waiting to meet their perfect match. The trend sees many single women writing open letters to their future husband.

Some women have created entire blogs around their letters, and others have presented hand-written notes as a wedding present to their new spouse. Some have even taken to social media. Here are a few examples:

 

Though some are just meant to be humorous, others are quite sincere in their messages to their “future husbands.” It’s an incredibly romantic gesture that allows a woman to express her hopes, dreams and, yes, even the fears that she has when she thinks about the man she’ll love for the rest of her life.

But as a matchmaker and dating coach, who is also happily married, I have to wonder: Are these “Dear Future Husband Letters” a faith-building exercise or just a fantasy that distracts singles from what it really takes to meet their match?

I didn’t write any letters to my husband while I was single, although I did keep a journal. And I often wondered during the hard times of my dating journey if there was a man out there who was praying for me.

One memory stands out from the rest. I was parked outside of my apartment, keys still in the ignition, reluctant to go inside and face the loneliness that was waiting for me there. I felt trapped in my relationship to a guy who was repeatedly cheating on me. I didn’t have the courage to walk away, although I knew I deserved better. As I gazed out at the stars through tear-filled eyes, I felt hope wash over me.

I imagined that somewhere, at that very moment, was a man who was looking at the same stars. He would one day be my husband—my future husband!

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