3 Simple Ways to Recognize Your Boaz Without a Supernatural Sign By: Dr. Aesha Have you ever prayed, “Lord, show me if He’s the One! And if he’s not, remove him from my life!” If so, I’m here to tell you those words are not the best way to recognize your Boaz. Here’s why: Most women who pray this are leaving it up to some supernatural sign, when God wants you to have wisdom and discernment so you can make the best choice. They say things like: He prayed over his food, so I figured he’s a God-fearing man I’ve never had a man quote scripture to me to encourage me before. He must be The One! He liked me, so I gave him a chance. He said he’d marry me tomorrow if I stopped being so demanding, so I let him be the man, even though I felt like I was suppressing myself. What if you didn’t have to look for signs or change who you were, and instead had a clear map to choose the best man for you? It’s possible! Here are 3 tips to help you get started: Read more at my blog on...
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The #1 Reason Why You Are Pushing Him Away By: Dr. Aesha You know the feeling. At first, things are amazing! Maybe you had to be convinced to give this guy a chance. He went out of his way to woo you, calling you, texting you, pursuing you, until you finally went out with him. He wasn’t the kind of man you’d usually date, but you could see he had some great qualities, the kind of qualities you’d want in a husband. And then, it happend. He starts changing. The quirky things you do that he said he loved–snorting when you laugh, asking a bizillion questions on the phone, reaching for his hand in public, start to annoy him. You can feel him pulling away, but you’ve decided not to say anything. Maybe if you just change those things that make him mad, he’ll come back to you. So you don’t talk as much as you used to. You keep the conversation light and fun so you don’t cause any arguments, until one day, you can’t take it anymore and you freak out! “Where is this going? Do you still love me? Where do I stand with you?” He blows up at you in a way that scares you. Or maybe he completely shuts down and barely mumbles a word. What in the world has happened? Is he pulling away…or are you pushing him away? Here’s the number 1 one way to tell if you’re pushing him away. Check to see if you are afraid. Fear is the enemy of connection. It keep you from being vulnerable and without vulnerability, there...
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Should a Woman Ever Ask a Man Out On a Date? By: Dr. Aesha Would you ever ask a man out on a date? Before you answer that question, I think you should read these women’s stories. “I picked my husband up 18 years ago! He was the first man I ever picked up & let’s just say it worked out! Lol…one of my best moves in history to date!” ~Shauna “The evening I met my husband, we were leaving the event, we exchanged numbers, and the next day “I called him.” I knew he would be my husband the day I met him. I didn’t want to lose him. He was surprised that I called him, but he was also GLAD! DO IT!”~ Pat “I did and married him 3 years later.” ~Lisa “I love to take a man out. He sees how you like to be treated and realizes you care. Let the man take the lead after the first date.” ~Tanya So I’ll ask you again. Would you ever ask a man out on a date? If your first reaction is, “Girl, please! No. NEVER!” you’re not alone! You probably feel that men are supposed to lead. You might think that they’re turned off when a woman pursues a man. Maybe you’ve been taught that men are the hunters, and if you aren’t a challenge, they won’t take you seriously. I’d like to offer another perspective that may open you up to more opportunities to meet men, and who knows, you may even meet The One like my married friends shared in their stories. 1. There are many different...
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What You Can Learn From Myanna’s Love Story & How You Can Be Next By: Dr. Aesha I’m so excited to share another love story with you! Myanna, a long-time friend of mine and member of our community, got married this Saturday to the man of her dreams! They make a great couple, don’t they? Myanna is a successful, smart, spiritual sister in her 30s. When she wrote me in January 2014, she was working out regularly, working with The American Heart Association, climbing the corporate ladder, and enjoying life with her friends. But there was a problem. She was still single! She wrote: I’m wondering if you can help me!!! I am STILL single!!! My thing is, I don’t have issues when it comes to relationships, my issue is meeting men!! It doesn’t happen! And I’m very involved! I am praying for a husband and I want love for 2014. What should I do? Please help! Can you relate to Myanna’s cry for help? She was living her life, just like everyone told her to, and still, Mr. Right didn’t show up! When she did meet men, they were playing games, pretending like they were interested in a relationship, when all they really wanted was a booty call (and yes, some of these dudes were in church!) If you find yourself in the same situation as Myanna and you’re ready for love this year, use the following tips: 1) Ask for help! Myanna didn’t try to figure this out on her own. She also didn’t just give up on dating and say, “well, all I need...
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The Power of Clarity When Choosing A Mate By: Dr. Aesha You like him. He likes you. Before you know it, you’re head over heels in love. But how can you be sure this person is The One? Most people make the mistake of choosing a mate based on chemistry alone. This is not a good way to choose the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. You need clarity. But how do you get it? Let me share with you 3 keys that will help you. Key #1: Get clear on who you are Sometimes we let other people, life’s circumstances and our past define who we are. For example, many of my clients have told me that they were raised to “be a lady” and to never chase a man. Others were taught they didn’t need a mate and that it was better to stay single rather than settle in a relationship. These teachings sound good, but in reality, they can keep you from the love you deserve! You need to exercise the power to define (and sometimes, redefine) yourself. This was a key step for me when I met my husband. At the time I was in graduate school, finishing up my studies for my PhD. In the past, it seemed like whenever a man discovered I was going to be a college professor, they just disappeared! However, with my husband, I didn’t hide this part of my life. He knew it the very first day we met. I was able to be real with him and it helped us make a strong connection. If...
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3 Reasons Why Men Don’t Approach You And What To Do About It By: Aesha Adams-Roberts “Girl, I had a meltdown!” I was chatting with a sister at a recent networking event. When she discovered I was a matchmaker and dating coach, she started sharing with me her challenges with men. She told me a “girl-meets-boy” story that felt like a scene out of a Lifetime movie, except there was no happily ever after. Maybe you can relate… “This handsome man walked in the door, girl. He had so much swag it knocked me back in my seat. I’ve been married twice but NO MAN had ever made me feel like this. I started to get self-conscious and I heard the Spirit say, “Put on some makeup.” So I pulled out my handbag and started putting on lipstick while the guy was still ordering his drink. Then he sat at the table next to mine. I pretended like I didn’t see him when he glanced my way. He sat there for almost an hour and then when he got up to leave, he spoke to me. “Have a good day, sister.” I knew he was talking to me, because my girlfriends were at the table with me and he looked right at me! My friend kicked me under the table as he was walking out the door and was like, “Girl, you better not let your man leave without you giving him your number.” I panicked! I was so nervous! I never gave my number to a stranger before, but I ran to my car to get a pen and paper. Then I...
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Confessions of Church Players: What Sisters Can Do to Protect Themselves By: Dr. Aesha “Adam & Eve weren’t married, “ he said. I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe my boyfriend, a minister in training, was trying to convince me to sleep with him prior to marriage by using Bible characters. When I persisted in saying no, he told me my desire to abstain was a “good goal,” but wasn’t realistic. This man wasn’t the only “church player” I dated prior to meeting and marrying my husband. Another man warned me not to be “so heavenly minded that I was no earthly good.” I found out later that he was messing around with many sisters in the church. He actually told me after we broke up that he’d made a list of women he wanted to try to date. It was all a game to him! Have you ever dated a church player? These are men who profess to be Christian, who may even be active in the church and are highly respected by people in the congregation, but they take advantage of the fact that women are taught to wait on the Lord to send them a man. They know that churches are made up of almost 80-90% of women. And they know that many of the single women haven’t been on a date in a long time and have been taught not to date men outside of the church. These guys manipulate you with religious cliches like, “God said you’re my wife,” and “you’re my good thing.” They make you feel like they want to marry you, but have no intention of settling down with you. They’re after one...
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The 7-Step Love Detox Challenge that will Transform Your Dating Life By: Dr. Aesha With Spring just around the corner it’s a good time to detox your love life. Why? Because your thoughts are getting in the way of you attracting and keeping love. Your thoughts shape your feelings which in turn, control your behaviors and actions. As Proverbs 4:23 says, “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” (GNT) So let’s identify 7 areas where some stinkin’ thinkin’ may have crept in and what you can do to change it. 1. Block, unfollow, delete, and hide friends on social media who are holding you back. Maybe you’re surrounded by people who are negative about relationships or who don’t support you as you seek to create your dream life. Use the delete button! You don’t need that drama in real life either, so draw some clear boundaries with your family and friends. 2. Forgive Forgiveness is the best closure. It heals the scars and removes the scabs that keep love from going in and out of your heart. Once you forgive, you’ll find the freedom to release your past and create a new, more empowering meaning of what happened to you. 3. Clear out text messages, emails, gifts, pictures and other keepsakes from your ex. These items can trigger memories that can keep you from moving forward. I remember holding on to the engagement ring from my ex-fiance for years after we broke up. When I finally gave it away, I had the courage to let go of the memories AND a relationship...
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