It’s Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. ! We’ve officially kicked off the holiday season. I know when you don’t have a “plus one” (or the right one) to bring to your parties and get-togethers, your loneliness can really eat you up, especially if you have (nosey) family who keep reminding you that you don’t have your soulmate yet. And even if your family and friends are supportive, just looking at all of the couples snuggling together on the couch after dinner can open the floodgates of feelings you’ve been ignoring all summer while you went on cruises, Girls’ Trips, and amazing adventures abroad. So I put together three of the funniest clapbacks you can use when someone asks “why are you still single” this Thanksgiving. Clapback #1: Your nosey cousin: “When you gonna settle down?” Your response as you give a side eye to her crusty boyfriend: “When you gonna admit you settled?” Clapback #2: Your uncle who doesn’t know how to whisper: “Still no boyfriend I see.” Your response as you watch him go for his 3rd plate of food: “Still no gym membership I see.” Clapback #3: Your sister who just called complaining about something her husband did: “Why are you still single?” Your response: “Stop asking me why I’m still single. I don’t ask you why you still married!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I hope you made you laugh a little, {!firstname_fix}. The love and support of my friends is what got me through the holidays when I was single. And working with a mentor and investing into seminars gave me the secrets, sense and courage to figure out why I kept...
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If you have *this* listed as a must-have on your Ideal Man List, you are getting in your own way of attracting a good man. 99% of smart, successful women make this mistake too, and I usually have to real “tough love” conversation with them so they don’t miss out on the love that’s trying to get to them. I’ll let you eavesdrop on a recent convo: 💁🏾Client: “He’s nice, but he’s not ambitious enough for me. He just wants a wife and kids. He’s happy where he is in his career. I need something more.” 🤷🏾Me: “Interesting…so he wants marriage like you say you do, but that’s not enough. Tell me why he needs to be ambitious for you to like him?” 💁🏾Client: “I’ve worked hard my whole life to get to where I am. I need to know that if something happens to me, he can take over and maintain my lifestyle. Besides, my grandmother told me love don’t pay the bills. I know this is true cuz I watched my mom struggle to take care of me after the divorce. 🤦🏾Me: “Your “Must Haves” are driven by fears that you inherited from your grandma, instead of clarity which comes from knowing what you need to be loved and cared for. A man doesn’t have to be ambitious to take care of you. He has to be present, emotionally stable, generous, capable of meeting your needs, and faithful to his word. Besides, if you want to build an empire with a man, you have to be the kind of woman who naturally makes a man feel...
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Thanksgiving is right around the corner. That means roasted turkey… Mama’s hot water cornbread dressing… Aunt Mae’s peach cobbler…. And a room full of family members who will ask you “So, do you have a man? When are you getting married?” AGAIN. Sigh. I know that awkward feeling of walking into a room full of the elders of your family gossiping about you. You know it because they all hush when you cross the threshold, and you hear the phrase “You know she can’t keep a man….” linger in the air when you do an about face to leave. I know the pain of being shamed for your relationship status. And I know how easy it is to beat yourself up for not knowing the secrets to keeping a man coming back for more until he realizes he wants you and only you. That’s why today’s episode of Ask Dr. Aesha TV is all about the untold secrets of effortlessly creating a genuine connection with a quality man. A man who knows himself A man who loves himself A man who is open to love and relationships and a total commitment to you. The tips I share are HUGE because they address the #1 Blindspot powerhouse women like you have in dating and relationships. Let’s solve this problem so you can keep the right man coming back for more. More dates with you. More open and honest communication. More passion and romance in your relationship. Watch now….and when you’re done post “I get the secret” below the video so I can celebrate this day as the beginning of...
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Crazy confused. That’s how Natasha’s uhm, boyfriend…no, gentleman friend…nah, that’s not quite it, uh, guy she is seeing…is making her feel because it’s been 6 months of dating, and he still says he’s “not sure” about being exclusive. 6 months of talking on the phone every night. 6 months of planning trips together. 6 months of kissing…hugging…and…well, you know. 6 months of having fun, enjoying each other’s company. But instead of celebrating this milestone with a romantic dinner at Ruth’s Chris, Natasha is writing me because she’s confused about where she stands with this man. Can you relate? I want you to take back your personal power so you can get out of the Crazy Zone with a guy and step into clarity, confidence and security because you know you’re with the right man. And if he’s not the right partner, you’ll stop playing house and move on so you can meet The One for you. That’s why I’m sharing jaw-dropping advice on today’s episode of Ask Dr. Aesha TV Tune in now to discover how to stop wasting your time WITHOUT a good man. Here’s Natasha’s question: Dear Dr. Aesha, Sooooo….what would I do if after 6 months he still isn’t sure that he wants to be exclusive. It’s crazy confusing, especially when you spend a lot of time together and you’re having fun, planning trips, and spending hours talking. How do I navigate that? Powerful, huh? Did you get a “aha” breakthrough with this episode? I want to hear about it. Post your comments below and don’t forget to share this episode with a girlfriend...
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Hi Dr. Aesha, So I’m wondering your thoughts on restarting conversations with guys I used to date. With one guy, we dated for a few months and then he left suddenly to go overseas to take care of his sick mother. This was about 5 yrs ago. Now he’s coming back to the States and wants to reconnect. I’m open to it because things ended on good terms and we’ve had some contact over the last few years. But do I engage in conversations now, while he’s still away? Then there’s another guy who I went out with a few times maybe a year ago. He ghosted me and just contacted me on a dating app that I just downloaded. Do I respond? If so, what do I say? First of all, there’s a huge difference between someone who is an ex-boyfriend vs someone who ghosted you after a few dates. Not only is the depth of the connection different when you’ve spent more time with someone, but also the pain you feel when a person doesn’t give you any closure by disappearing is different than a real breakup. Ghosters leave you with unanswered questions: Was it something I said? Did he not like me? Was he lying to me the entire time? Someone who ghosts you lacks accountability and integrity. So when they return, acting like nothing ever happened, it can be bewildering. Your past disappointment turns into hope, but it’s fleeting: What does he want? Does he want to try again? Does he still have feelings for me? Or is he just looking for me to forgive...
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Are you dating a man who has made it clear he loves you but he also keeps you in a grey area called, “What are we?” Does he tell you sad stories about past relationships where women cheated on him and that’s why he just wants to take it slow and just go with the flow right now? Were you ok with just hanging out in the beginning but now you want something more and you’re scared that he’ll lose interest if you tell him you desire a real relationship? Maybe you’ve built a whole life together and he’s made it clear he’s your man, but he doesn’t want to be your husband because “marriage is just a piece of paper.” If you said yes to any of these common relationship scenarios, then you need to understand a critical step in dating the Matched to Married way: You give away your power when you commit to a man before he commits to you. You can feel intense chemistry. You can feel a genuine connection. But all that means is there is attraction. Attraction is a feeling. Commitment is a choice. And when a man can’t or won’t commit–to the next date, to claiming you as his girlfriend, or to making you his wife–then his indecision is a decision. When you stay with a man without expecting him to commit … …When you make yourself available to him so you won’t lose him… ….When you silence your voice so you don’t make him uncomfortable… You give in to HIS plan for your life. Let that sink in for a bit....
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Do you feel like asking the man you’re dating when he’s going to commit to you is pressuring him to do something he doesn’t want to do? Do you “go along to get along,” even though you secretly fear he’s wasting your time and won’t ever commit? How can you avoid the frustration and fear that comes when a man drags his feet to commit? And are there any signs you can use to protect yourself from being in this position again? If you’ve been dating a man for several months or even years without him sealing the deal, I want you to know you are playing a dangerous game with your life. I know you don’t want to nag him, but you’ll waste years of your life trying to convince yourself you don’t need commitment when you know in your heart you really want one. So here are the 5 words you need to listen for that will tell you he’s about to waste your time: “I’m enjoying your company but…” I don’t care if this man is treating you like a girlfriend, calls you daily, introduces you to his friends and family. I don’t care if he even calls you his “future.” If you ask “what are we?” and he says he likes spending time with you but doesn’t like labels and just wants to go with the flow, he’s giving you a disclaimer so he can cover his behind when you find out he’s seeing someone else. His disclaimer may sound something like, Hey, I never said we were a couple! or “I’m just not ready for anything serious.” He feels like his half-truth is enough to continue getting relationship privileges without any of the responsibilities and here’s why: because you accept the crumbs he’s...
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Dr. Aesha, I’m just different. I’m in love with a man who is getting married in a few months. We spend so much time together that it feels so easy. I don’t believe a man will be attracted to me that I am attracted to as well. It’s always a guy I’m not interested in and would never consider dating. I feel exactly like Molly from Insecure. All of my lighter skin friends are married and have been for years. I’ve been alone and have had multiple heartbreaks. I’m just at a point in my life where I’ve just about given up. I have a hard past but I’ve overcome it. I’m educated and I take care of myself. Why can’t a man meet me that looks at me as wife material and not a “smash and pass” because of my dark skin? I’m so tired of celebrities and social media putting so much emphasis on light skin or mixed women, adding more hurt and self esteem issues to the women like me who are struggling to find love, good jobs, & positive attention outside of being a beautiful dark skin woman. So I’m 31 now and I said screw it. He might be getting married, but he loves me and he is making mw happy. No other guy is doing that and they definitely haven’t stuck around as long as he have. It’s been 7 months. I feel like I can’t leave him but I can’t deal with another heartbreak. I just wish he would call the wedding off and marry me instead. But I know that won’t happen, so...
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