AeshaOnline TV Episode #7: How To Find Your Perfect Partner By: Aesha Adams-Roberts As a dating coach, relationship expert and professional matchmaker, singles are always telling me their top "must-haves" in their ideal mate. Their perfect partner list include things like money, height and physical fitness. One woman told me she finds calloused hands & dirty shoes attractive in a man because it proves he knows how to work! However if what you're looking for is a 6-foot man with 6-pack abs and 6-figure salary, you may be selling yourself short! In this powerful episode, I share how tweaking this ONE thing on your ideal mate list can help you find your fantasy man faster. Click here to WATCH NOW! P.S. Please share this video with your friends & share your "aha-moments" in a comment below! ...
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First Date Dealbreakers That Drive Men Away And How To Avoid Them By: Aesha Adams-Roberts I almost blew it with my dream man! We were going to lunch at Panera Bread and I was making small talk as we drove from campus to the restaurant. Although I was teaching at a university in the Midwest at the time, I had an interview for a position at a university in the South that was coming up and I mentioned it as we chatted. Before I met him, I was trying everything in my power to land my dream job in the South. But now things had changed. Even though we weren’t officially dating, I knew that he was the kind of man I had been looking for. I knew that I wasn’t going to take the job but I didn’t tell him that. When I brought up the interview he said, “So this job is just temporary? You’re not really planning on staying here, huh?” There must have been something in his voice that made me realize that how I’d respond to his question could either make or break my chances with him. I could tell that he was trying to find out whether or not it was worth it to pursue a relationship with me. In other words, if I was serious about moving and he had no desire for a long distance relationship, I might have become less desirable for him. Why even take time getting to know me if things wouldn’t work out anyway? I thought about my answer to his question very carefully. “Well, I used to really want...
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Is There Only One True Love? Why Soul Mates Are Made, Not Born By: Aesha Adams-Roberts Is there only one true love for every person in the world? I used to think so. That false belief led me into unhealthy relationships. Let me explain. I met my ex-fiance at the age of 19. I thought he was "The One." We liked many of the same things and shared many of the same values. To top it all off, when asked by my father why he wanted to marry me, my ex said "The Lord told me to." (Real romantic, huh?) I struggled to let the relationship go even though all the signs of verbal and emotional abuse were there. I thought he was "the ONE" sent to me by God. "If only I prayed more or changed who I was, then things would work out," I reasoned. When I talked to his mother about what was going on in the relationship, she gave me a bit of advice I still remember to this day: "He's not your only option." I was confused. In graduate school, I met another guy who announced, "God said you are my wife." He was nothing like the kind of man I'd prayed for, but if God said it, I reasoned, then maybe He was giving me what I needed, not what I wanted. (I KNOW you've heard that one before). Things quickly unraveled when I discovered he was dating other women on the side. Ironically, my husband never said anything about the will of the Lord or fate or destiny or any other phrase...
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AeshaOnline TV Episode #6: "If He Likes Me, Why Didn't He Ask Me Out?" By: Aesha Adams-Roberts Welcome to this episode of AeshaOnline TV! Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can also be frustrating & confusing: He calls you, but says you're just friends; He sends you all the signs that he's interested and available, but never asks you out. When this happened to me when I was single, I wanted to yell, WHY DO MEN DO THAT?! In today's episode, I answer this question sent in from a viewer who is frustrated because men flirt with her, but never ask her out. I explain how men can be interested in you but not want to date you, PLUS what you can do about it so that you stay in control of your love life. WATCH NOW! ...
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4 Reasons Why He Didn't Call You Back By: Aesha Adams-Roberts You had a “great” first date: He seemed to really like you and he promised to call you back. Then . . . days pass with you staring at your phone, waiting for the follow-up call that never comes. Worse yet, you spend even more time trying to figure out what you did wrong to scare him away. "Maybe he's not ready for a relationship? Was he really attracted to me? He's just intimidated by my success. . ." Why didn't he call you back? Rachel Greenwald has an answer for you in her bestselling book, Have Him At Hello: Confessions From 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall In Love . . . Or Never Call Back. As a matchmaker and dating coach, Greenwald wanted to figure out why some of her clients had great first dates that fizzled out while others turned into amazing relationships. She decided to ask the guys in what she called "Exit Interviews." With permission from her clients, Greenwald called the dates and asked them straight up: Why didn't you call her back? The resulting feedback was surprising: 90% of the time, the women were wrong about why a guy disappeared! With results from 1000 interviews, Greenwald was able to pinpoint 10 major dating patterns and mistakes women were making on first dates and in the early stages of a relationship. One reason people struggle to find the right mate is they don't have feedback. You're dating in the dark, doomed to repeat the same mistakes, if you don't know what your date really experiences when they're out on the town with you. Using the feedback...
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AeshaOnline TV Episode #5: 3 Myths About Marriage That Keep Women Single (Or Unhappily Married) From Disney movies to reality TV shows, we're bombarded with so many messages about how we are supposed to meet, date, fall in love and live happily ever after. These stories seem harmless, but can actually create dating blind spots! In today's episode, Aesha discusses & debunks 3 common myths about marriage that are based on fantasies and fairy tales. These myths seem fun but will lead you into all the wrong relationships (and if you're married, cause unnecessary conflicts!). Grab a pen & paper because after today's powerful episode, you'll see men, marriage & yourself in an entirely new way. Click here to watch NOW! ...
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Too Busy To Date? Here's Your Customized Dating Plan By: Aesha Adams-Roberts Alexis* and Shannon* are two accomplished women over 35. (*Names have been changed). They're both driven, ambitious, beautiful, and talented. These smart, successful sistas are at the top of their game in their respective careers and they're ready to settle down and start a family. They're also both too busy to date. The difference between them is this: Shannon hired a matchmaker so that all she had to do was show up on her dates; she knows that she needs to invest time to find the right person & start a relationship with him, so she's making doing what it takes to make it work. Alexis on the other hand, told me the custom online dating plan I desgined for her was, "too much work. I'm too busy with my job and volunteering and church and working out and having a life, and . . . " As a dating coach, a reply like this is a big red flag. One one hand you tell me you really want to be married and have kids. And it all has to happen NOW because you're over 35 and your biological clock is ticking.On the other hand, you're too busy to date so you can find your ideal partner. What's really holding you back? Why are you sabotagoing yourself? Do you really want to be in a relationship? What do you want? There are many reasons why Alexis could be standing in her own way. Here are some of the mindsets that I tend to see among smart, successful women who are too busy to date: You can't have it all! Something will have...
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This is probably the most emotional post I have written all year. In a few hours, we'll say goodbye to 2013 and embrace a fresh, new start in 2014. I want to share a few thoughts with you that will inspire you to find and keep love in 2014. But first, let me share a quick story. Two years ago, today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! From conception to delivery, nothing went as planned. I endured 6 months of horrific, non-stop nausea, dehydration, drastic weight loss, hospital stays, home health care, weekly IV's and other invasive medical procedures. It was not what I expected. My husband was so supportive and stepped up to take care of everything. By the time I was ready to deliver, I was praying for a speedy delivery so I could finally hold my baby in my arms. The birth was not what I expected. "It's not supposed to be like this!" I wailed (or maybe YELLED is more accurate). I was too far along for any pain medication. I'd have to give birth naturally, but because the doctor wasn't around, I had to endure intense labor for an additional 25 minutes before I could deliver our son! "You can do this. You are strong," the nurse assured me. I didn't believe her. All I wanted was relief. At some point, however, between contractions, I had to decide to let go of how I thought things should be & accept them for what they were. No doctor. No epidural. Just me, my husband, my mom (on the phone) and a team of nurses. Gratefully, I delivered...
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