Three Tips To Find Out What Men Really Think about Love By: Aesha Adams Roberts Does he like me or is he just being nice? I remember being so frustrated with dating because it seemed that some of the men I liked were sending me mixed signals. One man in particular seemed to have all the qualities I was looking for: good looking, respectful, a Christian with a heart for youth and overseas missions, a hard worker, and did I mention good looking? Some days he’d act like he was into me, while other days it seemed I was invisible to him. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was all a mystery to me. Before I came to the conclusion that he just didn’t know what he wanted, I wasted a lot of time. Have you ever wondered what men really think about love? Or about women in particular? Have you wasted time trying to figure out what they want? A couple of weeks ago I surveyed the men who are a part of our Facebook community. I, along with some of the women, was surprised with what they told me. (I’ve only used their initials to honor their privacy): Aesha Adams-Roberts: Brothers help us out. What 3 things do you wish women knew about men that would help us treat you better? Pastor MDR: That we don't think like you do. That we need to lead even though we know who really is in charge. And we hate to have things held against us even after we have apologized. 1, 2, and 3. I'm just saying… Fellas...
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Could Gluten Be The Cause of Your Relationship Problems? By: Aesha Adams Roberts A wife I've been mentoring contacted me yesterday after her first session with a marriage counselor. One of her first assignments was to stop eating wheat! Her counselor recommended she read the book, Wheat Belly by William Davis, a renowned cardiologist. She wants her to begin eating a whole foods diet and to eliminate gluten BEFORE they begin addressing some of the other issues the wife is concerned about. What does GLUTEN have to do with happiness in a marriage? As it turns out, a whole lot! Gluten can affect everything from a person's weight, to their emotional stability, to fertility and digestive issues! I've shared how changing my family's diet from highly processed foods to organic, whole foods has improved our health and relationships. (Click here to read that article) Could a simple change like eliminating wheat and gluten improve yours? I challenge you to read the book and decide for yourself. Maybe the answer you're looking for in your life and relationships is simpler than you thought 🙂 If you're ready to make a change, I'll be here every step of the way! Come on over to my Facebook page and share your thoughts, questions or comments. Click here to come to my Facebook...
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How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Relationships By: Aesha Adams Roberts I first learned about boundaries in relationships when I was dating. I struggled to end an unhealthy relationship. After all the lies and drama, I knew in my heart I no longer wanted to be with him, and had even told him that. I was assertive, direct, and even angry. But he was able to convince me to meet with him to "talk about it." He admitted to sneaking around with other women, said he was sorry and even cried! I took him back. It wasn't until a friend of mine shared an analogy with me that I began to see that I needed to set healthy boundaries in relationships. "Would you let a bum open the front door, sit down in your bed, trash your house, and live there?" she asked. "No." I said without hesitating. "Why not?" "It's not his house! He doesn't have the right. . . I didn't give him permission to live there." "Then why are you letting this guy trash your life? You've left the doors open. You need to set some boundaries now." My friend was right. I didn't have clear boundaries that communicated what I required before I allowed access to my life. My boyfriend was treating me like trash because I told him it was ok! What are boundaries? Boundaries are limits you create that define your values and show people how to treat you. They reveal what you will and will not do, and what you will and will not accept from others. Boundaries communicate value for...
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How Kids Can Change the World By: Aesha Adams-Roberts We've all heard of amazing kids who change the world. They start lemonade stands that raise millions for a good cause; they start foundations, lead civil rights' movements, and create social media platforms that attract billions of people! I've even featured a story of a successful, happy teenager, on my blog. Bethany Looi is on a trip around the world with her family and has started a fair-trade business to help benefit local trades people she'll meet in South America. (Click here to read her story). What do you think when you hear stories about kids like this? Do you think they must be special or extraordinarily talented? Or do you think that your child could change the world too? Let me share something with you I've recently discovered. The gifts, talents and calling that God knit into them while they were in the womb, are for now, not later! Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14). The kingdom of heaven belongs to children as much as it belongs to adults! As a parent, I believe this means we must be concerned with more than making sure we raise obedient, good little girls and boys. We need to groom world changers who bring heaven to earth! I view this as my high calling as a mom and my husband and I are investing in books and training so we can do this. I've started with baby steps, first of all...
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Parenting Isn't For Wimps By: Aesha Adams Roberts I glanced over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of them. My son and daughter looked angelic in the back seat of the car as we drove to church. My mind flashed back to the days when my husband and I prayed every night that we would conceive right after I had a miscarriage. We asked God for a boy and a girl and prayed for them by name. We were even so bold (and naive) to ask for fraternal twins! My children are living, breathing, answers to prayer and I love them more than I could have ever imagined were possible. God knew what He was doing by giving them to us one at a time, though, because parenting isn't for wimps! I'm so over perfectionism and trying to be Super Mom, so I'll be honest. Somewhere between waking up, making breakfast, chasing my 1 -year-old so I can put on his clothes, answering 42 questions from my 4-year-old (Mom, why do we have mouths? Why do we have necks? Why is there a sky? Why are leaves green . . .) wiping up poo, fixing lunch, taking walks to the park, keeping my son from digging in the garbage, calling the plumber because he flushed a toy down the toilet, answering 17 more questions, breaking up a fight, scrubbing the crayon scribbles off the wall, fixing dinner, taking baths, and getting them ready for bed, I wonder: I know they grow up fast, but am I really supposed to enjoy every minute? And if I don't, does that...
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A Fresh Look at Family Values By: Aesha Adams-Roberts What are your family values? I know that term can spark a firestorm of debate, so please, before you put up your dukes, let me clarify. "Family values" has become so overused, taken up by politicians and other talking heads that we either a) have negative feelings about it or b) have no feelings about it. Rest assured: I'm not talking "If you don't have a traditional family, you don't have family values" when I ask you that question. What I'm asking is, what is so important to you and your family, that no matter what, it guides your decisions on a daily basis? For example, I started working as a freelancer to help my family while my husband's job was affected by the hiring freeze. (He's since been hired! Whoo hoo!) It was a fun way to put my PhD to work, work from home, and continue my part time business. I quickly got hired for an easy data entry job. All I had to do was post products from a website to the business owner's social media profiles. Easy enough! It wasn't until I was hired that I discovered the website was an XXX adult site selling lingerie and other, unmentionable items. I wasn't upset that he owned such a site; I was upset that he never told me. I found out by logging onto the site, out in the open while my kids played a few feet beside me! What would you do? We needed the extra money, but the site itself and the...
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Tips for Newlyweds: Growing a New Marriage is Like Being a First Time Parent By: Aesha Adams-Roberts "My due date is 4 days away. Will someone tell this child that we're ready to meet him and to just come out please! I'm so over being pregnant. I just want to be done!" I chuckled to myself when I read my cousin's Facebook status and then sent her a few words of encouragement. Almost every mom can relate to her feelings. The last few weeks are the hardest. You're running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. You can't sleep. You're hungry and tired all the time, and even though you're scared to go through labor and delivery, you're just too darn tired of being pregnant to care! Can you relate? I experienced similar feelings when I was single. I'd made the hard choices. I said no to the relationships that weren't healthy; I started working on myself, preparing for a serious relationship that would lead to marriage. I endured being alone on the weekend when a date with anyone would have filled the loneliness. Sometimes I waited through tears. I was so over being single! There's relief that comes when you finally get what you've been waiting for. You did the hard work and now you can enjoy it! The baby comes and holding her for the first time makes you forget about all of the sickness, aches, and pains it took for her to get here. You meet the man of your dreams and he makes you forget all of the loneliness and hurts from...
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Bad Advice About Dating, Marriage, and Parenting and What You Should Do Instead By: Aesha Adams Roberts Have you ever noticed that when you start dating, get married, or have kids, you're suddenly surrounded by all kinds of advice? Most people mean well . . . but not all advice is good advice. In fact, a lot of it is bad. I asked my Facebook community to share bad advice about dating, marriage and parenting they've received. I was shocked by what they shared! Here's what they told me: "Don't believe anything a man says…" "Girl you've got to train yo man!" (As if he's a dog) "Your son needs to be in public school, you shouldn't homeschool him, it's not right!" "You guys aren't sleeping together yet? I only waited ten days…waiting till marriage is ridiculous! What if he's bad in bed?!" "Oh, so you letting your wife wear the pants in your own household!! Are you going to listen to your wife or are you going make the decision on your own??" "Just give the kids what they want so they shut up." "Don't get serious with him yet. You are young, have other boyfriends" Shocking, isn't it? But just because someone gives you advice, doesn't mean you have to take it! If I would have listened to every opinion coming at me as a woman, wife, and mother, I would be confused, my marriage would be on the rocks, and I'd be stressed out as a mom. Here's the deal: Unsolicited advice is often a sign of manipulation and control, especially if the...
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