What I Learned About Long Distance Relationships as a Military Wife By Aesha Adams Roberts With the popularity of online dating, many singles may find themselves facing the possibilities of a long distance relationship. Even if you meet someone in your city, it is possible that you or your significant other could move due to a career change, job assignment, or deployment. What should you do? Pass up a potentially amazing relationship because you won't get to see each other every day? And what if you're already seriously involved or even married? How can you survive a long distance relationship? Although my husband and I dated while we were both in the same city, we knew that because he is an officer in the U.S. navy, that there would be times we'd be apart when we were married. As a matter of fact, we had only been married for 8 months when he had to leave for a 3 month training. By our second year of marriage (shortly after the birth of our daughter), he had to leave for a 9 month training on the East Coast, move to another duty station on the West Coast, and begin a 9 month deployment. After 18 months of being apart from him, I learned a thing or two about surviving a long distance relationship. If you're considering starting a long distance relationship or you're already in one, here are 3 tips that will help your romance survive and thrive. 1) Build romance and intimacy with technology: With hundreds or even thousands of miles separating you, you won't have the benefit of...
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Are You Ready For Love? By Aesha Adams Roberts “What do you want,” he asked again. I could hear the exasperation in his voice, but deep down I wondered if he really wanted to hear my answer. “To love . . .and be loved,” I answered. “What does that mean,” he asked, clearly frustrated. As I attempted to explain to him that I wanted a safe place for my heart, that I wanted someone who I could trust with my most vulnerable thoughts and my true self, and that I wanted to be able to be that safe place for someone, the blank look on his face told me that he was not that safe place. It wasn’t like I needed this conversation to reveal that I was in an unhealthy relationship, however; the lies, betrayal, and foolish games had all pointed to the fact that this was not the right man for me. But for some strange reason, I held on to the relationship, satisfied that at least I had someone I could talk to, someone who could at least partially fulfill the longing inside my heart for companionship. Soon, however, "at least" was not enough, and I left that relationship with my heart in shreds. Even though I had a strong desire to give and receive love, I found myself more on the giving end, than I did the receiving end. But I cant blame I the guy I was dating ( at least not entirely). It was clear that by my hanging on to a relationship where I was hurt over and over again, I...
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The Key To Growing and Keeping Intimacy In Your Marriage By Aesha Adams Roberts I recently received a short but heartfelt question from one our male readers. He is a newlywed who married the woman of his dreams. Here's what he asked: Aesha– I would pose this "anonymous" question to you: How would a man ask for more intimacy from his wife. Not "sex", but intimacy. –Name withheld This is an excellent question because it tears apart the assumption that men only want one thing—sex. You’ve made a clear distinction between intimacy and sex, although I believe that in passionate, committed, marital relationships, intimacy and sex should go together. Without intimacy, sex becomes a routine exercise that can leave one or both of you bored and unfulfilled. And when one or both of a marriage partner is bored or unfulfilled, it can lead to a relationship crisis. So how do you grow and keep intimacy in a marriage? My answer might surprise you. Intimacy in a marriage is about YOU and not your spouse. Let me explain. Most couples make the mistake of wanting the other person to change so that she can fulfill his needs, but it doesn’t work that way. YOU have to change in order to achieve a passionate marriage filled with love and intimacy. For example, you’ll need to do what it takes to become a man who is not afraid of sharing his deepest thoughts and desires with his wife, asking for what he needs without fear of rejection. You’ll need to change into a man...
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Sexy Secrets to Getting Your Man To Listen To You . . . Without Nagging, Complaining, or Screaming! By Aesha Adams-Roberts I recently had a conversation with a beautiful, successful single woman who has found the man of her dreams. As we talked about what was holding her back from marrying this man, (even though he wants to marry her), one of the things she said was, “whenever I try to talk with him, I can’t find the right words. So I just scream!” This sister is not alone. The fact is most women struggle with communicating with the opposite sex. Whether it’s knowing what to say when first meeting a man, knowing what to talk about on a date, or communicating your needs in such a way that a man can’t help but fulfill them, few women know the secrets to getting a man to listen. Knowing how to communicate with other people is a key to success in life. And without good communication skills, the happiness in a relationship will not last long. Sadly, most people weren’t groomed with the kind of skills that make communication easy and fun. As a result, we often sound like 3 year olds who nag, complain, or scream when we don’t get our way. Its no wonder many men shut down when it’s time to have a serious talk with their woman. Let’s talk about how to communicate with your man in such a way that he wants to listen to you. Most women make the mistake of bringing up an important topic at the very moment they...
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How To Talk To A Guy Who Is Out Of Your League By: Aesha Adams-Roberts I recently received a direct message from one of our clients that reminded me of many emails we receive at AeshaOnline.com. A beautiful, talented sister wanted to know how to talk to a guy she likes. She wrote: So, I like this guy on the worship team. He knows about me, but I can't muster up the courage to talk to him.He is a recording artist, single but I think he dates. (Like Barbie girls). What is the best way to talk to him? Approaching a guy you like can be scary and overwhelming especially if you don’t know if he’s interested in you. I have a very simple and easy method to starting a conversation with a guy you like or are interested in, one that I used when I first met my husband six years ago. Not only did I use these keys to start a conversation with my husband (even when it appeared he wasn’t remotely interested in me) but I also used them whenever I went on a date with him or saw him around church or work. These keys are part of the reason why my husband loved spending time with me, and why we got married after only 11 months of dating. 1) Focus on just getting to know him. If you approach him for the first time trying to get him to like you, you’ll put too much pressure on yourself. You’ll end up trying to impress him and the focus will be on YOU and not...
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I need your help! Every day I receive emails, direct messages, and social media posts asking for dating and relationship advice. How do I know if he's the one? How do I muster up enough courage to talk to that guy I like? How do I get my husband to be more intimate with me? I am here to serve you . . . but I need your help! Please watch this video and share your answers with me in a comment box below! I'm here for you! Your sister,...
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“You’re baaaaack! I’m so excited!” I grinned when I saw more than one of my Facebook friends post this message on my wall. Yes, I am back, with a story to tell you. After going through months of horrific nausea, vomiting, hospitalizations, home health care, and IV treatments, I am finally feeling better and excited about the life growing inside of me. But if I’m honest, while I was struggling with this health challenge, there were days that I felt hopeless. I was emotionally and physically weary and yes, even a little depressed. Have you ever felt like that? We all struggle from time to time. I know how hard it is to hold on to your dreams while you’re going through that struggle. Sometimes you feel hopeless and weary. Will things ever change? Will I ever find true love? Will my marriage ever be healed and restored? Will I ever be happy? Let me encourage you. All things come to an end. But as Dr. Henry Cloud says in his book Necessary Endings "some things die and some things need to be killed." In other words, some things will end on their own, but other things require you to take some type of action before it will end. I want you to know that I am here for you. I want to support you whether you are waiting for a tough season in your life to end or whether you need to make some hard decisions to before you can have the new beginning you long for. My sisters, there...
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