Are You Ready For Love?
By Aesha Adams Roberts
“What do you want,” he asked again. I could hear the exasperation in his voice, but deep down I wondered if he really wanted to hear my answer.
“To love . . .and be loved,” I answered.
“What does that mean,” he asked, clearly frustrated.
As I attempted to explain to him that I wanted a safe place for my heart, that I wanted someone who I could trust with my most vulnerable thoughts and my true self, and that I wanted to be able to be that safe place for someone, the blank look on his face told me that he was not that safe place. It wasn’t like I needed this conversation to reveal that I was in an unhealthy relationship, however; the lies, betrayal, and foolish games had all pointed to the fact that this was not the right man for me.
But for some strange reason, I held on to the relationship, satisfied that at least I had someone I could talk to, someone who could at least partially fulfill the longing inside my heart for companionship. Soon, however, "at least" was not enough, and I left that relationship with my heart in shreds.
Even though I had a strong desire to give and receive love, I found myself more on the giving end, than I did the receiving end. But I cant blame I the guy I was dating ( at least not entirely). It was clear that by my hanging on to a relationship where I was hurt over and over again, I didn't believe I truly deserved to be loved.
Do you have a hard time believing that you deserve to be loved?
Ponder this: Henry Cloud and John Townsend remind us in their book, Boundaries, that our physical heart was designed to both give and receive blood. In the same way, our "love heart" is designed to give and receive love. They write: "And like its physical counterpart, our heart is a muscle, a trust muscle. This trust muscle needs to be used and exercised; if it is injured it will slow down or weaken."
If you are struggling with the idea of receiving love, chances are your trust muscle has been injured. Insecurities, fear of rejection, fear of commitment, past hurts, a tendency to be overly critical of yourself and a host of other issues can slow down, weaken, or block your ability to let love in. But just like you are responsible for taking care of your physical heart, you are also responsibile for taking care of your love heart.
It's challenging, I know, and sometimes downright difficult to face those things that are holding you back. But it's not impossible. And if you need some support I want to come alongside you and help you. On a recent live conference call I shared 7 core beliefs that are holding you back and 3 keys to your breakthrough. Please download and listen to it now as my gift to you.
Sisters, let me encourage you: you ARE worthy of love! You ARE worthy of being listened to, cared for, & protected! Let that sink deep into your heart so it becomes truth for you.