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The One Thing Stopping You From Living the Life Of Your Dreams

 
By: Aesha Adams-Roberts
 
I recently shared on Facebook a small portion of the story of how I met my husband.  It was mid October when we both attended a luncheon hosted by the Dean of the college where we both were teaching.  After a few conversations and two coffee dates, I invited him to spend Thanksgiving with me and my family and he accepted!  In December, he took me to his office Christmas party. By January we had decided we were going to get married!  
 
Let's recap: we met in October, spent Thanksgiving together in November, celebrated Christmas together and decided to get married by January!  
 
I shared this to encourage you that you don't have to spend the Holiday season alone and that I can teach you secrets to get the same results. However, one sister responded to this encouragement by saying:
 
"These "secrets" don't work for everyone because everyone has individual situations & circumstances!! Mine are a GREAT example!!"
 
There was no need to ask her to share her unique situation or circumstances because here's the truth in love: it is NEVER your circumstances that determine whether or not you will find love. It is what you do with the circumstances. How else could I go from lonely, low self esteem, and in abusive relationships to meeting & marrying my dream man in 11 months?
 
Thinking that some situation or circumstance is holding you back is a mindset that needs to be changed. And here's the good news: it CAN be changed!  
 
Maxwell Maltz in the book The New Psycho-Cybernetics, a book about how to change the beliefs that hold you back, has this to say: "You can change FROM anything TO anything by changing your self-image, by providing it with new truth." That means you can change from lonely and afraid, to confident and in love; from a broken heart and unable to trust anyone to having a wide open heart, ready to give and receive love.  It is possible but only if you're feeding yourself new truth. 
 
Where does this new truth come from?
 
1) Forgiveness
 
Forgiveness releases you from the pain of your past. Even though you can't change what happened to you in your past, you can change how you feel about your past. And forgiveness is a big key to doing that. 
 
2) Thoughts
 
Your thoughts shape your attitude, your emotions, your words, your decisions; in fact, your thoughts affect how you see yourself.  To change your thoughts you have to replace the negative ones with positive ones. Read books, listen to audios, and change the people you hang out with. 
 
3) People
 
Surround yourself with people who love you, encourage you, and who will tell you the truth . . . in love.  You may need to change who you hang out with to find people who will love you like that. I share some tips in my book, Can I Help a Sister Out: How to Meet and Marry the Man of Your Dreams to help you find who they are. 
 
I believe in you, sisters, and I know that you can have the life you've dreamed about!