Hi Dr.Aesha, Is it me or is the dating pool for black women getting pretty non-existent? A little background on me: I’m single, 31 y/o black female, traditional christian beliefs, no kids. I do love our black men, but have come to the resolution that maybe I am not meant to date them. This is not to bash them, but i feel like it is taboo to talk to even my friends about this because they don’t understand what it’s like to truly ” walk in life based on your beliefs. Most of my friends have my beliefs, but are very compromising, because they have men. For example, I believe if a man cheats on you then it’s an automatic breakup…especially since you (the woman have not cheated)…but these women are willing to have “half a man” than none. So I’m at a point where I’m being told by men ” no one is perfect”…and the women are saying “girl all men cheat”. To me being “perfect” and not cheating are two different things. It is very isolating (but I won’t let up) to truly live a life that is consistent with your beliefs. I have, however, noticed that when I talk to women from different cultures that they share my beliefs and are steadfast. In fact, having a “standard” is promoted by the family and is expected. It is so surreal to see and feel the difference in how women are valued..and how families nurture their daughters in other cultures. As I get older, I truly appreciate the value of being patient and letting God control my destiny....
Read More
Share
I was recently in the barbershop and was talking with a man who has been in a relationship for 10 years. He was telling me all the things that annoyed him about his girlfriend. She wants to get married, but he’s been feeling unsure. “I’ll give our relationship another year or two and then I think I’m out. I’m a man. I can get another woman no matter my age!” he said. I was so upset with this guy. I told him “This is why I teach sisters to date differently. The last thing they need to do is waste their time with someone who isn’t go to marry them!” I’ve made it my mission to help you never waste your time again because you’ve invested your heart, energy, time and money into a relationship that isn’t going to result in marriage. But to do that, I have to share some truths that make tick you off. One of the biggest reasons why you waste time with the wrong men is because you chose him. Plain and simple. The good news is, you can learn to make different choices and it all starts with understanding how men think, talk and behave when it comes to commitment. Let me share with you the profiles of 4 types of men you’ll meet while dating, so that you’ll instantly know whether or not you should invest your time into a relationship. 1. The Player You may think you know how to spot The Player, but he comes in all shapes and sizes. Even the smartest sister can get fooled by him unless...
Read More
Share
As a matchmaker, I’ve experienced first-hand how flaky men can be in today’s modern dating world. It’s happened more than once, actually. Here’s the pattern: A gentleman tells me he’s interested in meeting my client. He goes through the process of being interviewed and screened and even checks his calendar to set up the date. But when it comes time to make the call and actually meet the woman, he shrinks back. Sometimes he’ll disappear. Other times he’ll cancel at the last minute until he finally tells me he’s seeing someone else, even though it’s not quite serious yet and doesn’t want to hurt my client. Yeah, I know. It’ frustrating for my client and for me! The whole reason women work with me is so I can protect them from the heartache, rejection and confusion that comes from dealing with emotionally unavailable men. I’ve made it my mission to learn more about the signs that a man is emotionally unavailable or not, so I can do a better job of screening them out of the dating pool for my clients. I want to pass along what I’ve discovered so you can know what to do when you meet a man who sends you mixed signals. Here’s what’s so tricky about these kinds of guys: They really want relationships and closeness. We all do! So they’ll say things like, “I’m tired of the dating thing. I want to settle down.” They’ll swear up and down they want a wife but they just haven’t met her yet. He may have been dating for a long time and he says he knows what he wants,...
Read More
Share
Ask Aesha: How to Attract Better Relationships, Keep Kids Out of Your Room, and Create a Meal Planning System By: Aesha Adams Roberts Welcome to this issue of our online newsletter! I'm excited to answer your questions today in our Ask Aesha column! You've been emailing me, sending me DM's and inboxes on Twitter and Facebook on questions ranging from dating, to meal planning, to parenting. I've chosen these three because they'll help the most people: How did you learn how to make better choices in relationships? ~Leticia Leticia, I share a lot of my story in my book and I share the roadmap it took for me to go from low self-esteem, unable to trust people, and making poor choices in dating (including become engaged to a verbally abusive man and dating a guy who had several women on the side). What changed for me was how I thought about myself. We attract who we are and our thoughts are the foundation of who we are. Our thoughts are formed by the enviroments we were raised in, hurts, traumas, words spoken over us, and experiences we've had. Once you begin to change your thoughts, you'll change who you attract to your life. The process began for me when I found out that God said I was His beloved, that I was valued and I was accepted. Embracing those thoughts helped me recognize when a guy didn't have similar thoughts about me and I started making better relationship choices. You can do it! My kids burst in the bathroom when I'm taking a shower. They'll hang around in...
Read More
Share
