#MCM: Is The Idris Elba Syndrome Ruining Your Love Life? By Dr. Aesha “Oooooh, girl, he’s so fine! Lord, can you make mine like this?!” This was the way my single girlfriends and I talked to each other after watching a movie with Morris Chestnut in it. Back in the early 2000s, you couldn’t watch a Black chick flick without seeing the tall, dark and handsome Chestnut playing some smooth, suave (and sometimes bad) man who swept the leading lady off her feet. I hate to admit it now, but when I wrote out my ideal man list in my 20s, I put “Looks like Morris Chestnut” up near the top of my must-haves. What I meant was I wanted a tall, successful man who could wine me and dine me and make me feel amazing. When I met my husband, he didn’t look anything like Morris (He has been mistaken for former NFL star, Donald Driver, though), but that was ok. I knew I wasn’t marrying a list of traits. I was marrying a human being who adored, respected and understood me! Now that Idris Elba has stolen the hearts of women all over the world, I hear many single sistas fantasizing about finding a man just like him. I call it the Idris Elba Syndrome and if you’re not careful, it can ruin your love life! It’s okay if he’s your #MCM man crush, but when it comes to defining your must-haves in the man you’re looking for, be careful that you don’t use Idris as your baseline. On one hand, the characters he plays have a lot of qualities...
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Forty and Freaking Out: How To Find A Husband No Matter Your Age By: Aesha Adams-Roberts "Maybe it's just not meant to be." I could hear the hopelessness in her voice, even though she tried to convince me she was happy being single. My former roommate was approaching the age of 40 and she was freaking out because she hadn't found a husband. Her biological clock was ticking and since she didn't have any prospects, she figured it'd be easier to just give up on her dreams instead of holding on to hope that she'd find real love. I couldn't let her give up. She was my sister-friend, and she deserved to be happy. She was beautiful, talented, giving, and a successful career woman. I knew she would make a great wife and mom. We were hanging out in her master bedroom, with me watching her as she was cleaning out her cluttered closets. All of a sudden, I blurted out: "You gotta make room for love! Just like you're cleaning out your closets, you gotta clean out your life so the right man can come in." Then I told her I could see her holding a beautiful baby boy with big, round eyes. Later that day, we went to the mall. As soon as we stepped through the doors, we saw a sign which read, "MAKE ROOM." The building was being renovated and these signs were everywhere we looked. I knew it was a divine download. God was giving my sister-friend a lifeline of hope, but it was up to her to reach out and take it. In a few short months, my sister-friend called...
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This is probably the most emotional post I have written all year. In a few hours, we'll say goodbye to 2013 and embrace a fresh, new start in 2014. I want to share a few thoughts with you that will inspire you to find and keep love in 2014. But first, let me share a quick story. Two years ago, today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! From conception to delivery, nothing went as planned. I endured 6 months of horrific, non-stop nausea, dehydration, drastic weight loss, hospital stays, home health care, weekly IV's and other invasive medical procedures. It was not what I expected. My husband was so supportive and stepped up to take care of everything. By the time I was ready to deliver, I was praying for a speedy delivery so I could finally hold my baby in my arms. The birth was not what I expected. "It's not supposed to be like this!" I wailed (or maybe YELLED is more accurate). I was too far along for any pain medication. I'd have to give birth naturally, but because the doctor wasn't around, I had to endure intense labor for an additional 25 minutes before I could deliver our son! "You can do this. You are strong," the nurse assured me. I didn't believe her. All I wanted was relief. At some point, however, between contractions, I had to decide to let go of how I thought things should be & accept them for what they were. No doctor. No epidural. Just me, my husband, my mom (on the phone) and a team of nurses. Gratefully, I delivered...
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HUGE Announcement! It's The First "Can I Help a Sister Out" Wedding at AeshaOnline.com! By: Aesha Adams-Roberts This is Tiffany D. Johnson. She was the first person to get copy of my book, Can I Help a Sister Out: How To Meet and Marry the Man of Your Dreams when I released it in November 2010. One month later, she wrote me, telling me she met her dream man and she believed he was "the one." We developed a sisterhood over the following months and Tiffany would send me emails like, "I just wanted to let you know we're in pre-marital counseling! Things are going well. . . " Imagine my surprise when I got this direct message on Facebook from Tiffany on Saturday: "I just wanted you to be one of the first to know I got engaged last night!" It's a quick engagement too–they're getting married on December 7 of this year!!! HELLO! That's 2 months away! I'm in tears because my greatest desire when I wrote my book was to help people like Tiffany find their perfect match in 12 months or less and be confident that they are marrying the right one. And just in case you think Tiffany's story is a fairy tale, she's fought through abroken engagement, loneliness, and the fear that she'd never find Mr. Right! It's an honor to be a part of Tiffany's love story. I'd love to be a part of yours too! Click here to get started. Your sister, Aesha P.S. What if you met your perfect match before 2012 is over? Don't wait! Click here to start your...
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