I recently hosted a group coaching call for single women to ask me any question about their dating and relationship challenges. One of the questions really stood out to me. The sister asked me if she really had to stop all communication with an ex-boyfriend. When I asked her why she was holding onto a man from her past who made it clear he wasn’t ever going to commit to her, she said this: “He provides companionship for me. Besides, he told me I’d never meet anyone else like him. He’s right! I compare everyone I’m dating to him, and no one measures up.” I told this sister that by convincing herself she had a real connection with an emotionally unavailable man, she was driving her future partner away! Do you have a similar story? If you’re still talking to your ex or holding onto items that remind you of him, then I have some news for you: You aren’t over him, and you’ll continue to struggle with dating until you do this one important thing: Deal with your ex-factor. How to Get Over Your Ex My personal experience of moving on from a broken engagement —along with insight from psychologists—leads me to this conclusion. I held on to the engagement ring for years after my relationship came to an end. I kept the ring, along with a pile of cards, letters and old journals, in which I’d written about my ex-fiance, in a plastic shoebox and hid it under my bed. Whenever I was lonely, I’d take out the keepsake box, flip through the papers and try on the ring. The happy memories of...
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How To Know When To Call It Quits In A Relationship By: Aesha Adams-Roberts I'm here to help you find and keep the love of your life. So why in the world would I share advice on how to know when to call it quits in a relationship? Because every second you spend with the wrong one is a second you're not with "The One." I know because in almost all of my dating relationships I stayed way past the expiration date! I also have coached women and men who want to fight to save a relationship that's already over. Sometimes we stay too long. So how do you know when you should stay in a relationship that isn't going anywhere or when you should call it quits? I'm not one to tell a person what to do when it comes to their relationships. I've learned a long time ago that matters of the heart can be tricky. Even if you know in your head what to do, your heart can often keep you stuck. So instead of telling you what to do, I'll share some empowering tips to help you make a wise decision for your life. 3 Signs That You Should Call It Quits In A Relationship 1. You Don't Share Core Values Or Common Goals You don't want kids. He does. You want marriage. He's not sure. It's been 3 years and he still can't make up his mind. Ancient wisdom says, "Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?" (Amos 3:3 MSG) If you've realized you and your partner don't share core values or...
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It was the riskiest thing I’d ever done. I just packed my things, loaded my car and started driving. I’d never driven alone on the highway before, but I was desperate to get away from a very toxic relationship. The physical distance helped, but I still had some emotional baggage. I kept talking to him on the phone and even planned to spend Christmas with his family. A few days before Christmas, I called him at our usual time. His roommate told me he wasn’t there. “He asked to borrow my car,” she said. “I don’t know, Aesha. I don’t know,” she said. I could tell something wasn’t right. When I brought it up to him the next day, he “confessed” that he was on a date with another woman! I was angry, heartbroken and somewhat relieved that I finally had the courage to break it off for good. My new roommate didn’t want me to be alone for the holidays and invited me to spend Christmas with her family. Being surrounded by new friends and family helped to soothe the ache I felt in my heart. At that moment, I had a mindset shift and decided to enjoy the holidays no matter what. The following year, I moved back to my hometown in the Midwest. This time Christmas would be different. In October I’d met an amazing man and we were spending quite a bit of time together. I’d invited him to Thanksgiving and he accepted. After Thanksgiving dinner we had our first official date, but we still hadn’t started a relationship. In fact, he’d kept...
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