Secrets From The Barbershop: 9 Signs A Man Is Ready For A Relationship By: Dr. Aesha Now that I’m Team Natural, I get my hair cut at the barbershop. And sistas, you won’t believe the secrets I get to hear when I’m there! (Yes, the guys talk about relationships when you’re not around). I recently had a chance to talk with one of the guys there about what he’s looking for in a woman. In fact, any time I’m around a professional, high-quality man, I’m always asking him what he thinks about dating, relationships and marriage. This helps me better understand men so I can help the sisters I coach and mentor find love and keep it! In my barbershop conversation, the bachelor said something that I’ll never forget. HE said: “I don’t have trouble getting a girlfriend. I just can’t find the right girl to settle down with and start a family. I’m looking for someone I can invest in.” Did you pick up on that? This is a man who has his house in order. He’s got a great career, he takes care of his business, he’s clear on his values and he knows what he’s looking for! He is looking for someone to invest in. If we look at that word in the world of finance, an investment is putting time, energy, and money into something valuable, with the hope and expectation of gaining some type of benefit from it in the future. In other words, when a man is ready to settle down, he’s looking to give his time, energy and love into a woman who will...
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My Story Of How I Met & Married My Husband In 11 Months By: Dr. Aesha He walked into the room like he owned it. “Who is THAT?” I said to myself. I had no idea someone that handsome was on campus. He was the epitome of masculinity. It wasn’t just the fact that he was wearing his naval officer’s uniform. It was the way he commanded the room, as though his presence meant we were all under his protection. The day I met my husband almost didn’t happen, however. I was invited to attend the New Faculty Luncheon hosted by the Dean, but I’d decided not to go. I was tired of attending all these Let’s Celebrate The Beginning of the School Year events. I just wanted to get to work. At the last minute I decided to just suck it up and go to the little luncheon. I was on a dissertation fellowship and my goal was to finish my project, teach a class, and then find a job so I could move back to Charlotte, North Carolina, where I was certain I would find my husband. As far as I was concerned Milwaukee didn’t have any marriageable men so I didn’t want to stay there! But meeting this man changed my attitude, little by little. We didn’t exchange numbers when we first met. In fact, he barley smiled at me even though I sat across the table from him during the luncheon. We had a brief conversation on the walk back to campus, during which I discovered we attended the same church. I found out later he didn’t want his Executive Officer,...
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Love and Money! What You Need To Know But No One Ever Tells You By: Dr. Aesha Did you hear? Rumor has it that Beyonce wants to add a $5 million cheating clause to her pre-nup with Jay Z in view of the persistent rumors about his infidelity and the many women he’s allegedly seeing ona the side. I usually stay out of grown folks’ business, but if the rumor is accurate, then it’s got me thinking even more deeply about the relationship between love and money. Money affects every area of our lives, especially our love lives. For example, think about all the friction finances can cause in dating, relationships and marriage: 70% of divorces are over money issues. Even before a couple says I do, money can complicate romance. Who should pay for a date? Is it fair to expect men to carry the burden of courtship and pay for every date from Hello to I Do? On the flip side, if women pay for dates, will it push a man away (like some gurus claim), will it make him appreciate her independence or will it make him dependent on the woman financially? In a recent conversation I had with a sista about Power Play Women–women who have high-salaries, powerful careers, and are highly educated–she shared that a guy she was dating started trippin’ when she casually mentioned the exotic vacation she was planning. He accused her of spending too much money, even though he knows nothing about her salary, spending habits or savings. They eventually broke up because he said, “I can’t afford you.” This sista was confused because she had no expecation...
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