As Parents, How Do You Talk To Kids About Race? By: Aesha Adams-Roberts "Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed." ~Nishan Panwar If I were still teaching college students, I would be bracing myself for an uncomfortable, yet necessary, discussion of the George Zimmerman verdict. I'm no stranger to leading hard conversations about race, gender and other hard topics. As a professor, I encouraged my students to get real and raw about the things no one likes to talk about. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it, especially when I read notes from students who told me the disucssions we'd had in class helped them understand the people they shared a dorm room with. As a professor, I could give my students something to read to start the conversation. As a parent, however, I don't know where to begin. What do you say to your children about hard things in life like the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case? Or the Sandy Hook shooting? Or the little girl on the playground who asks your beautiful daughter, "Why is your skin so dark?" Whatever your throughs are on how the case turned out, the fact remains that a child is no longer alive. Tragedies that end in the death of a child remind us that there is so much beyond our control as parents, no matter how much you want to protect them. These tragedies also remind us of our responsibilites to create a better world for our kids. I believe part of that responsiblity is having difficult conversations with our kids...
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Deadlines, Grace Days, and Giving Up The Pressure To Be Perfect By: Aesha Adams-Roberts One of my greatest challenges as a college student was procrastination. I'd pull an all-nighter trying to cram for a test or write a paper, all the while beating myself up for waiting until the last minute to get my work done. Once I became a college professor, I tried to help my students avoid that way of thinking. I warned them that unless they had an emergency, a deadline was a deadline. They would be penalized for late papers. "This will help you in the 'Real World'," I taught them. Boy, was I wrong! Yes, there are some "Real World" deadlines we can't ignore (like filing your taxes , paying your bills, or getting a check up). However, much of life and relationships aren't governed by an external deadline, yet we still act like they are. We say things like: "I'm 30 and still single! I'll NEVER get married" "We've been married 5 years and haven't started a family!" "That's it! If he doesn't apologize tomorrow, I'll never speak to him again!" "AAACK! The laundry is piling up, the dishes aren't done, I'm such a horrible mom!" We create unnecessary pressure and stress in our relationships and personal life when we live like this. There is another way! While I was teaching my students about the "Real World" of deadlines, my colleague was giving her students "Grace Days." Papers were due at the beginning of class but I'm not inflexible, she told them. They were given 5 grace days during which they could...
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How Kids Can Change the World By: Aesha Adams-Roberts We've all heard of amazing kids who change the world. They start lemonade stands that raise millions for a good cause; they start foundations, lead civil rights' movements, and create social media platforms that attract billions of people! I've even featured a story of a successful, happy teenager, on my blog. Bethany Looi is on a trip around the world with her family and has started a fair-trade business to help benefit local trades people she'll meet in South America. (Click here to read her story). What do you think when you hear stories about kids like this? Do you think they must be special or extraordinarily talented? Or do you think that your child could change the world too? Let me share something with you I've recently discovered. The gifts, talents and calling that God knit into them while they were in the womb, are for now, not later! Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14). The kingdom of heaven belongs to children as much as it belongs to adults! As a parent, I believe this means we must be concerned with more than making sure we raise obedient, good little girls and boys. We need to groom world changers who bring heaven to earth! I view this as my high calling as a mom and my husband and I are investing in books and training so we can do this. I've started with baby steps, first of all...
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Parenting Isn't For Wimps By: Aesha Adams Roberts I glanced over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of them. My son and daughter looked angelic in the back seat of the car as we drove to church. My mind flashed back to the days when my husband and I prayed every night that we would conceive right after I had a miscarriage. We asked God for a boy and a girl and prayed for them by name. We were even so bold (and naive) to ask for fraternal twins! My children are living, breathing, answers to prayer and I love them more than I could have ever imagined were possible. God knew what He was doing by giving them to us one at a time, though, because parenting isn't for wimps! I'm so over perfectionism and trying to be Super Mom, so I'll be honest. Somewhere between waking up, making breakfast, chasing my 1 -year-old so I can put on his clothes, answering 42 questions from my 4-year-old (Mom, why do we have mouths? Why do we have necks? Why is there a sky? Why are leaves green . . .) wiping up poo, fixing lunch, taking walks to the park, keeping my son from digging in the garbage, calling the plumber because he flushed a toy down the toilet, answering 17 more questions, breaking up a fight, scrubbing the crayon scribbles off the wall, fixing dinner, taking baths, and getting them ready for bed, I wonder: I know they grow up fast, but am I really supposed to enjoy every minute? And if I don't, does that...
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