I was recently in the barbershop and was talking with a man who has been in a relationship for 10 years. He was telling me all the things that annoyed him about his girlfriend. She wants to get married, but he’s been feeling unsure. “I’ll give our relationship another year or two and then I think I’m out. I’m a man. I can get another woman no matter my age!” he said. I was so upset with this guy. I told him “This is why I teach sisters to date differently. The last thing they need to do is waste their time with someone who isn’t go to marry them!” I’ve made it my mission to help you never waste your time again because you’ve invested your heart, energy, time and money into a relationship that isn’t going to result in marriage. But to do that, I have to share some truths that make tick you off. One of the biggest reasons why you waste time with the wrong men is because you chose him. Plain and simple. The good news is, you can learn to make different choices and it all starts with understanding how men think, talk and behave when it comes to commitment. Let me share with you the profiles of 4 types of men you’ll meet while dating, so that you’ll instantly know whether or not you should invest your time into a relationship. 1. The Player You may think you know how to spot The Player, but he comes in all shapes and sizes. Even the smartest sister can get fooled by him unless... Read More
He’s Emotionally Unavailable: What Do I DO?
As a matchmaker, I’ve experienced first-hand how flaky men can be in today’s modern dating world. It’s happened more than once, actually. Here’s the pattern: A gentleman tells me he’s interested in meeting my client. He goes through the process of being interviewed and screened and even checks his calendar to set up the date. But when it comes time to make the call and actually meet the woman, he shrinks back. Sometimes he’ll disappear. Other times he’ll cancel at the last minute until he finally tells me he’s seeing someone else, even though it’s not quite serious yet and doesn’t want to hurt my client. Yeah, I know. It’ frustrating for my client and for me! The whole reason women work with me is so I can protect them from the heartache, rejection and confusion that comes from dealing with emotionally unavailable men. I’ve made it my mission to learn more about the signs that a man is emotionally unavailable or not, so I can do a better job of screening them out of the dating pool for my clients. I want to pass along what I’ve discovered so you can know what to do when you meet a man who sends you mixed signals. Here’s what’s so tricky about these kinds of guys: They really want relationships and closeness. We all do! So they’ll say things like, “I’m tired of the dating thing. I want to settle down.” They’ll swear up and down they want a wife but they just haven’t met her yet. He may have been dating for a long time and he says he knows what he wants,... Read More
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Stay Connected No Matter What: Tips For Maintaining Rewarding Relationships
Stay Connected No Matter What: Tips For Maintaining Rewarding Relationships By: Aesha Adams-Roberts Do you ever feel like you're so busy you put your relationship last? Work. Kids. Church. Travel. The list goes on and on. My own husband and I have faced this challenge in our relationship, through deployment, pregnancies, newborns, crazy working schedules and more. We've discovered that life doesn't get any less busy. To maintain a rewarding relationship you have to be intentional about staying connected, no matter what! Here are 3 tips for busy families and couples: 1) Don't Forget The Little Things Be sure to make daily deposits into your love account. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, love notes & texts are all little things that add up! Remember: NO DEPOSIT, NO WITHDRAWAL 2) Learn To Hold Onto Each Other In The Hard Times As Dr. John Gottman says, "Most arguments are about absolutely nothing." I remember letting my anxiety about my husband's employment situation affect how we talked to each other. Even though the hiring freeze was beyond our control, I realized I could control my attitude towards it. The bottom line: don't let life drive you apart. 3) Take Advantage Of The Time That You Do Have No matter how busy you are, let your family and your significant other know that they matter to you. You can do that by creating rituals that keep you connected. For example, in our home, the family table is where we reconnect after a long day. Over dinner we ask, "So what did you do today?" We teach our kids to listen and to contribute to the conversation as well. If my husband... Read More