Insight Into The Male Mind: The Inside Scoop On What He's Really Thinking By: Aesha Adams Roberts Does he like me or is he just being nice? Is he keeping secrets from me? I remember being so frustrated with dating and relationships because it seemed that some of the men I liked were sending me mixed signals. One man in particular seemed to have all the qualities I was looking for: good looking, respectful, a Christian with a heart for youth and overseas missions, and a hard worker. Some days he'd act like he was into me, while other days it seemed I was invisible to him. I couldn't put my finger on it. It was all a mystery to me. I wasted a lot of time thinking something was wrong with ME, simply because I didn't understand how men think. Have you ever wondered what men really think about love? Or about women in particular? Have you wasted time trying to figure out what they want? A couple of weeks ago I surveyed the men who are a part of our Facebookcommunity. I was surprised with what they told me. (I've only used their initials to honor their privacy): Me: Brothers help us out: What 3 things do you wish women knew about men that would help us treat you better? Pastor MDR: That we don't think like you do. That we need to lead even though we know who really is in charge. And we hate to have things held against us even after we have apologized. 1, 2, and 3. I'm just saying… Fellas help me out here. JW: That the... Read More
Myths About Marriage That Keep You Single and How To Avoid Them
I talk with men and women on a daily basis about life and love. And one of the most common points that comes up with all of them have to do with their beliefs about love, marriage, and the opposite sex. For example, I asked two very attractive, professional single women about their love lives. They willingly shared all the juicy details with me. One, a dental hygienist, told me she had met the love of her life on Myspace a few years ago, and he wants to marry her. In fact, he asked her what would she think if he bought her an engagement ring for Christmas. Her answer: “Why are we talking about this?!” When I probed her for more information, she told me she is scared to get married because all of the marriages in her immediate family ended in (an ugly) divorce, and she was certain that it would happen to her too. The dental associate who was working on my teeth at the time said she hoped one day love would find her. “Are you dating,” I asked? “No,” she replied, “I just don’t go out enough. But it’ll happen for me one day–maybe.” The beliefs these two women had about themselves and about marriage shaped the actions they did–or didn’t–take. One was sabotaging her chances for marriage, the other was passively waiting for it to happen. The beliefs a woman has about herself, love, marriage, relationships, and the opposite sex is often the greatest hindrance to her meeting and marrying the man of their dreams, more than any other factor I’ve observed so... Read More
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4 Things Men Want in a Wife
4 Things Men Want in a Wife By Aesha Adams-Roberts One of the most common questions I get asked by our readers and clients is "what do men want?" In one form or another, whether the question is from a single sister still searching for Mr. Right, a jaded online dater who is tired of the games men play, a woman who is already in a relationship with a man and is trying to figure him out, or a sister who is already married, it seems they all want to know how to get inside a man's mind and understand exactly what he wants. But there was something my mentor said to me the other day that made me realize that whether single or married, it's important to learn–and keep learning–what men want in a wife. She said: "The role of husband and wife is not one of mentoring." In other words, a man isn't looking for someone who is trying to lead him, change him, or even criticize him. Even if and when he wants advice and counsel from his wife, he's looking for it without judgement. Single men who are actively dating and looking for a woman he can commit to (and even the guys who don't realize they're looking for committment until it knocks them over the head) look for key things before they decide to settle down. Let's talk about four of them: 1) He wants to feel needed without feeling like his woman is "needy." Many men appreciate a woman who is independent... Read More