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Unhappy young woman watching TV while a man makes a call

The #1 Problem With Dating

By: Aesha Adams-Roberts

"What's the number #1 reason why women are single," she asked me.

Without hesitation I said, "Women aren't dating enough OR they're dating the wrong types of people." 

Honey, if you could've seen the look on her face! She looked like she wanted to clutch her pearls because I'd said something so outrageous.  For the next few minutes she grilled me with that "nice-nasty" tone you get when someone disagrees with you, but she still wants to be polite. 

"Well, do you teach from a biblical perspective." It wasn't so much a question as it was an accusation. At least that's the way it felt to me. I guess to this sista, dating is not biblical. (I've dealt with this issue in a previous article and conference call. Check it out here if you missed it). But as one of my Buddhist male clients said to me once, "If Christians don't date, how will they ever make little Christians?"

My conversation with this sista rang in the back of my head when I saw a statsitic this week reported by one of my colleagues, Paul Brunson. He said the #1 problem with dating is that no one's doing it anymore!

Our mothers and grandmothers went to sock hops, cake walks, school dances, and mixers to meet men. They went on blind dates or the neighborhood matchmaker set them up. They actually went through a courting process in order to find love. 

However, the new rules of dating have shifted the game! Instead of dating, people are:

  • Texting, sexting or emailing
  • Hanging out
  • Hooking up
  • Going out a few times and just seeing what might happen
  • Waiting at home for the right person to come along
  • Hoping to run into someone at church, the coffee shop, mall, or on a jog

As a result, the average single in the US hasn't been on a date in 2 years! 

I'm on a mission as a matchmaker and dating coach to help you get back in the dating game and find your perfect match. And I want you to have FUN doing it!  

So tell me, when was your last date? And what's your greatest challenge when it comes to dating and finding the right person? Leave your answers below. I promise to read and comment on each one 🙂