If you were on a first date and the successful, swagalicious man you met on Soul Swipe said, “Am I ever gonna get remarried? I don’t think so. Yeah, I don’t think so. Marriage is an institution of sorts and I’ve done it. It’s not for everybody. It’s not my life’s calling,” what would you do?
Tell the truth and shame the devil, ladies.
Would you run for the hills so he doesn’t waste your time? Or would you stick around, hoping he’d change his mind once he saw you were the right woman?
Well, the above quote came straight out of Idris Elba’s mouth and was printed in the August 2017 issue of Essence magazine. Yet, on February 9th, 2018, Idris proposed to his girlfriend, Sabrina Dhowre at a screening of his own movie. Never say never, I guess?
I’m happy for the new Black Power Couple-to-be, but as a dating and relationship expert, I’ve got a few questions. Admittedly, we don’t know much about their whirlwind romance, but I’m searching for lessons that single sisters can apply to their own lives if they ever encounter a man who has a case of the Idris Elba Syndrome, a term I’m coining to describe a man who says he has no intention of settling down, yet changes his mind when he meets the right woman.
I married a man who told me he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship when we first met, so I know that it’s possible. And I also know that as a woman, you have to navigate the early stages of the relationship with a man who has the Idris Elba Syndrome with a strong commitment to your own relationship goals, otherwise you can get stuck in a situation for years, hoping he’ll get on the same page as you. With that in mind, let’s look at how Idris may have changed his perspective on marriage during his relationship with Sabrina.