Top 5 Reasons You Need A Matchmaker and Dating Coach
By: Dr. Aesha
When people hear what I do for a living, I get a variety of responses.
Some people are curious.
Others get defensive and think I’m trying to say something is wrong with them. They assume that when I hand them a business card, I’m telling them they can’t get a partner on their own!
So I think it’s time to set the record straight. I want to clear up the confusion about what I actually do as a dating coach and relationship consultant and explain the top 5 reasons why you need one.
I know many folks in the Black community have never heard of a matchmaker until they saw Patti Stringer on Millionaire Matchmaker. We’re so used to meeting people at church, the gym or grocery store and we’re still a little suspicious of online dating. As women, we were taught not to do anything otherwise you’re acting thirst or desperate. You may have told that it’s the man’s job to find you.
“I’ll just wait til the right person comes along or God sends ’em.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this! But how can he find you if you’re on your coach every weekend, with your doo rag on, catching up on Greenleaf, Empire and How To Get Away With Murder?
Why not find someone who can show you exactly how to position yourself in the right dating pools so that your perfect partner can find you?
I believe part the reason why our community doesn’t reach out for help in our relationships is the same reason why we don’t reach out for help for other areas of our lives like mental health, finances, fitness and more.
We’ve been taught to look for advice from 3 sources:
When we need advice for relationships, we turn to our family and friends who tell us to pray about it or figure it out on our own.
But relationship advice is different from relationship coaching. Getting advice when you need coaching is like putting a bandaid on a stab wound! Advice fixes the symptom. Coaching address the causes of the symptoms and helps you to make powerful changes quickly so you choose the right kind of men.
So how do you know if you need a dating coach? Here are the top 5 reasons:
1. You don’t have a problem getting a date; you just can’t meet a mate
Maybe you’ve done online dating or you meet people the old-fashioned way, but none of these people are right for you. You’re tired of disappointing dates because a person’s profile doesn’t match who they really are.
You know the right person is out there, but you just can’t figure out where!
2. You can’t seem to meet someone who is serious about relationships
You’re tired of a person telling you you’re asking for too much when you want a commited relationship. You don’t want to play games, and you don’t want to waste anymore time dating someone who isn’t going in the same direction you are.
3. You want to meet someone who shares your values and your faith
Being “equally yoked” is important to you. You refuse to compromise who you are and what you believe just to say you found a partner!
4. You’re too busy to date or you just don’t like crowds
Maybe your career keeps you busy or you’re too high-profile to put your picture online on some dating site. The club scene isn’t for you and you don’t like crowds anyway. Date coaching is a great alternative becuase it’s discrete and private and focused entirely on you!
5. You’re back on the dating scene after many years and boy, has it changed!
If you’ve been married for a long time and now, due to a divorce or death of a spouse, you find yourself having to date again, you might feel a little scared. Online dating makes you feel uncomfortable but all your friends are telling you to do it. There is another way! You don’t have to do it alone.
BONUS: 6. You’re Feel Stuck In Pattern of Dating The Wrong Men
Maybe you’re dating a great person, but you know deep down in your gut that this relationship isn’t the best for you. However, you feel torn because on paper, you’re a great match. You don’t know if you should stay or you should go and the thought of making a decision scares you! Or, maybe you see a pattern of dating the same kind of guy. It’s the same man with a different face, and the relationships always end up with you hurt, confused and disappointed.
Dating coaching would be a great fit for you because you already know how to meet men. You’re just not choosing the right person and you don’t have the courage to let the wrong person go.
Working with a dating coach doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Working with a coach means you know that the kind of person you want to meet, date and marry is a cut above what you’ve been experiencing on the dating scene and you’re ready to stop wasting time and accelerate your results.
Does coaching work? Don’t take my word for it! Here are some testimonials from clients who
“I knew in my heart that I needed a catalyst for change if I really wanted to focus on opening myself up and finding love. I figured, “Why not!? What do I have to lose?” I rely on experts in every other facet of my life and career so why is dating any different? Society tells us that love should just happen but the reality is, for most, it doesn’t… there has to be a concerted effort and focus and I figured if Dr. Aesha could help me shift my focus and give me a few practical tips along the way, it was well worth the money. I was right! I never would have met my boyfriend if it weren’t for Dr. Aesha
K.H, 39, Los Angeles
“Working with you changed my life! I had more dates in three months than I did in 10 years combined! I had my pick and learned how to handle myself, including living out my priorities and values.
As a single parent with a child starting college, it was not the best time economically. However, when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will find a way. If my family needed something I would have gone out of my way to make it happen. Why would I treat my future as any less of a priority? Time was also a premium. I was a single mom working full time, ran a business, lead 4.5 ministries at church (don’t ask), and took care of an aging in parent with Alzheimer’s. I had NO time. The truth is, we make time for what we deem a priority. When I made my life a priority, things changed. I changed. My life changed.The thing is none of those things and pressures changed until I did. If you are waiting for things to change before you live your life you will be waiting until the grave. I recently read a meme that summed it all up – life doesn’t have a remote control. Get up and change it yourself.
I would tell anyone who is thinking about it…Do it! Dr. Aesha was a God send and an answer to prayer. I went from 3 dates in 10 years to more than I could count in months. The biggest advantage and gain was the personal growth I experienced. It was less about finding a husband and more about finding me. When I found her, the true me, the me that was buried and suffocating under the needs and demands of others, I became irresistible to men. I had more dates than I can count. When I met the man I went on to marry he proposed in 6 months!”
Karen, 45, New York