It’s a brand new year and many people are creating new resolutions to lead them to a relationship. If you like to make vision boards and you want to us one to manifest your mate, then check out my story as well as some important tips on creating a vision board that’s more than just a collection of pictures and wishful thinking.
I was still reeling from a bad breakup to a toxic boyfriend. Despite all the drama that happened in our relationship, I still missed my ex, so as a way to distract myself, I focused on my graduate studies. At the time I was interviewing prominent African American women preachers for my dissertation and spent afternoons at the local bookstore to go over my notes. When I needed a break from transcribing interviews I’d browse the bookshelves. For some reason, I kept finding myself in the dating and relationships section. I’d pick up a few books secretly hoping that they could offer me some hope that my dream man was out there.
Something unexpected happened. I started to dream again. Reading the books helped me refocus my energy from what I had lost in my past relationship to the sweet possibilities of what I could have in a future marriage. Soon I started grabbing bridal magazines and wedding planning books just out of curiosity.
One afternoon, while thumbing through the magazines, I saw an amazing gown. “That’s it,” I thought. I could see myself in it! I bought the magazine, went home and cut the picture out of the book.
My study breaks came more often and I found myself buying more wedding magazines. Soon I’d found my bridesmaids’ dresses and had researched the top tips on planning an extravagant wedding on a budget. I chose the song I wanted to walk down the aisle in and knew that I wanted a holiday weekend wedding. Everything was set.
Except I was still single. I didn’t even have any prospects. No one was asking me out on a date!
I was embarrassed to tell anyone what I was doing. I had friends who carried around binders filled with wedding ideas they’d been updating for decades and others who showed their dates the advertisement for their dream engagement ring. I didn’t want to be “that chick” who fantasized about the man who never showed up. So I hid my magazine clippings between the pages of a binder. I had cleverly disguised my vision board as just another book of research notes.
I finally got the guts to tell my roommate what I was up to. I showed her the pictures of my dream wedding gown and let her listen to the song I wanted to sing to my future husband as I walked down the aisle. She was in awe! That was in July of 2005. The next September, my roommate was wearing the bridesmaid’s gown I’d shown her in my vision book and was helping me celebrate my new marriage to my husband. Check out these photos of my dream wedding
My husband putting on the cufflinks I bought him as a wedding day present
I sang to my man as I walked down the aisle. The song was entitled “Extravagant Love,” and I’d written it down in my dream book, the moment I heard it because I knew I would want to sing it at my wedding.
Roy surprised me during the ceremony and sang a song that brought me to tears
My former roommate is the 3rd from the left in the top row. She was the one I showed my vision book to and who encouraged me to believe that I’d meet my dream man even though I was moving to a new city
My father-in-law performed the ceremony. His name is on our marriage license!
Our first dance. All of my dreams came true!
Aw snap! Doing the electric slide. Everyone danced the night away!
So how did my vision board help me attract my dream man and marry him a year later? And how can you use one to manifest your man?
- I framed my future with pictures
My vision board helped me to focus on my future love instead of the pain of my past. The scene of my breakup replayed like a horror movie. As a result, I was associating love with pain and was avoiding dating at all costs. I didn’t want to get hurt again. My vision board helped to break that pattern and instead build anticipation for what my life with my future husband would be like.
- I activated my vision with words
Many people skip this important step when creating a vision board, but in addition to inspiring images, you need words that will bring your dream to life. I actually kept a journal inside of the binder where all my pictures were held.
Studies show that writing activates the part of the brain that helps direct your attention. By journaling along with your vision board, you’re telling your brain to pay attention to your dreams!
In my journal I described what my husband would be like. I didn’t focus on how tall he’d be or what he’d do for a living. Instead I described in great detail the kind of family he would come from, what his personality would be like and the things we’d enjoy doing together. I made sure to write in the present tense, as though it were already happening.
While we were in the middle of planning our wedding, I shared what I had written with my husband. We both were amazed at how accurate my descriptions of him, his family and our reception hall were!
- I took action
You can get stuck in woo-woo land with vision boards. Most people just use them to feel inspired but you need to use them to inspire you to take action. The board won’t make a man magically appear, but it can help you become more magnetic so you attract Mr. Right. You’ll have more clarity about the kind of man that’s right for you and you’ll fixate your focus on all the reasons why your vision is possible.
Instead of writing the typical “Perfect Man List,” create a vision board. It may help you manifest your dream man faster!