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What to Do When You Feel Stuck In Life and Love

By: Aesha Adams Roberts


"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now on and make a brand new ending." Carl Bard

Have you ever felt stuck in life?  I have. At times it was a feeling of being unsure about my life's purpose and wondering whether getting my PhD was following my dreams or someone else's; Other times I felt utterly insignificant as a stay-at-home mom, covered in poop, trapped in the house, and cooking and cleaning all day.  We can all get in a rut in our life and relationships from time to time. I believe it's human nature. However, there are things you can do to get "unstuck."

What did you love when you were a child?  You were born to be amazing . . . and you knew it! (If you have kids, you know what I mean).  Life can sometimes beat the life out of you and you begin to believe the lies that you're not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough. Self-doubt creeps in and whispers in your ear telling you pursuing your passions is an impossible dream. I've seen it as a college professor as I've mentored students and I've seen it as I've mentored those are either searching for Mr. Right or thinking they married Mr. Wrong. My students believed the lie that their dream to be an actor wasn't practical and would make them a "starving artist," so they chose a path of studying something they weren't truly passionate about. The amazing women and men I've mentored in relationships sabotaged themselves because they didn't truly love themselves. You'll never let anyone love you more than you love yourself!  

I've experienced this myself.  Since I can remember my siblings and I would make up songs about anything–the American flag, Winnie the Pooh, even a rap about a hornet! I learned to play the violin at the age of 5, the flute at age 9, and the piano at age 13. But I came to believe that I am not a songwriter. I believed I wasn't good enough to puruse my dream of sharing my music with the world. I even recorded and released an EP which blessed people around the world. But then, I shrunk back.  

My father recently sent me a video he'd made as a tribute to the Sandy Hook victims. He used a song I wrote when I was 14 called Tomorrow Begins Today. Listening to my sister, who was 9 at the time, sing the lyrics to a song I wrote within the context of the Sandy Hook tragedy, awakened something in me that I had tried to push deep inside.  

Listen to the song by clicking on the video: 





Squashing who you are–self-sabotaging, shrinking back and denying the gifts and talents God knit inside of you before you were born will leave you feeling stuck in life! 

So what do you do when you feel stuck in life and love?  

Know who you are. There's great power in that. You may need to start keeping a journal, something I've done since I was 12 years old.  Here's a tip to help you get started. When I taught college-level writing courses, I used to have my writng students write for 5 minutes when they were stuck trying to find ideas for their papers. Freewriting helped get creativity flowing. What if you kept a journal, 5 minutes per day, writing down whatever comes to your mind? I think you'll find that beneath the clutter and clamor of your crazy life, there's an undercurrent of thoughts, a stream of creativity waiting to burst forth!  You may come to a greater understanding of who you are, what you want, and solve your most challenging problems just by writing.  

Start releasing a greater expression of yourself–in a journal, in a blog, by taking a cooking class, or pursuing a hobby you've forgotten about.  Getting creative can help you feel alive again!  

Finally, forgive yourself for holding yourself back and . . . forgive others.  Bitterness, anger, and resentment choke the life out of you. These things will block your creativity, destroy ALL relationships & leave you miserable. It's not worth feeling stuck. Just let it go!  

I believe with all my heart that 2013 is the year for you to get unstuck and to move forward into the life and love you've dreamed about!  Let's do this together.  Please share your thoughts below.