Are you dating a man who has made it clear he loves you but he also keeps you in a grey area called, “What are we?”
Does he tell you sad stories about past relationships where women cheated on him and that’s why he just wants to take it slow and just go with the flow right now?
Were you ok with just hanging out in the beginning but now you want something more and you’re scared that he’ll lose interest if you tell him you desire a real relationship?
Maybe you’ve built a whole life together and he’s made it clear he’s your man, but he doesn’t want to be your husband because “marriage is just a piece of paper.”
If you said yes to any of these common relationship scenarios, then you need to understand a critical step in dating the Matched to Married way:
You give away your power when you commit to a man before he commits to you.
- You can feel intense chemistry.
- You can feel a genuine connection.
- But all that means is there is attraction.
Attraction is a feeling.
Commitment is a choice.
And when a man can’t or won’t commit–to the next date, to claiming you as his girlfriend, or to making you his wife–then his indecision is a decision.
When you stay with a man without expecting him to commit …
…When you make yourself available to him so you won’t lose him…
….When you silence your voice so you don’t make him uncomfortable…
You give in to HIS plan for your life.
Let that sink in for a bit.
Because the principle of least interest in sociology states that the person who has the least amount of interest in continuing a relationship has the most power in the relationship.
When you tolerate dating a man for months–even years–who can’t tell you if or when he will commit, you exchange your power for empty promises.
The urgent, next step you need to take right now before you waste anymore time is to reclaim your power, use your voice, and expect him to commit or step out of the way so the right man will step into your life.
Oh I know you’ve been trying, but it’s coming across as:
All of these negative forces turn on his “fight or flight” switch in his brain and even though your his woman, this stress FEELS like a threat that the needs to run away from or fight with all of his might.
You feel stressed because you’re trying to use a protective strength to deal with the fear that he doesn’t love you enough to commit his life to making you happy.
You feel you have to fight for what you want, either by trying to fix yourself so he loves you more, or by constantly talking about it.
But convincing him to commit to you that’s not the true source of your power as a woman.
In fact, when a man senses you’re afraid to lose him, he knows he doesn’t have to do much to woo you (just like a boss who knows you need the job–he feels he can treat you like a Hebrew slave!)
Your true power is in asking for what you want.
This requires a vulnerable strength and a mindset that says, “I am important. What I want matters. I deserve to have my needs met too.”
If you’ve spent your whole life fighting for recognition in your childhood and proving yourself in your career, it can feel scary to speak up.
What if he doesn’t give you what you want?
Then you need to have the confidence to walk away.
You need a belief system that says, there is a partner out there who would be happy to commit to me.
You need a strong, personal commitment to your own desires for love, marriage, a family and all of the highs and lows that come with it before you ask him to commit to you. Otherwise you can be easily persuaded that the crumbs he’s giving you are enough.
And, you need a mentor in your corner who can give you the tools to let go of the fears that you’ll lose him if you require a commitment and empower you with the right words to say to speak the truth that’s in your heart.
I can be that mentor for you. Just listen to what one of my clients had to say about how learning getting the secrets to communicating with confidence caused her to stop attracting commitment-phobes.
She said, “The wrong men stepped out of my life and the right man stepped into my life. Things changed almost overnight!”
Tuning into your power as a woman is a mindset shift that you can’t pick up from a Google search, you need the right mentor to walk you through it.
Learn how I can take years off of your learning curve and help you get the love you want faster, quicker and sooner than you thought possible by
Let ‘s talk: It’s time to OWN your desire for commitment. Fill in the blank below:
I deserve a commitment because ____________